Holy Transparency! I noticed the moth clinging to the screen as I cleaned the kitchen. He stayed for quite awhile, in stillness, silent like he has something to tell me.
The poor thing, I thought. Holes scattered throughout his wings like a shotgun had pelleted his only means of moving. I felt sad for this little creature, stuck in one place, his wings full of gaps.
I cleaned. I watched. I listened.
Then I looked closer.
My first impression of what I was seeing was all-wrong. His wings were not holey at all. The parts I thought were broken were transparent allowing the light to shine through.
Lord, help me be transparent so you shine through.
Being transparent isn’t easy. I want to keep up appearances you know. After all I have worked a lifetime perfecting my mask of “everything is all right” and “I have my act all together.”
Will people really like me if I step out of the way? I know my ego won’t go away without a struggle. Fear stalks even the bravest when we are vulnerable. In my occasional humbler moments, I still wonder what others think about me. Rats, I hate this self-centeredness.
How do we become more transparent? How do we reflect this holy transparency?
Is it being honest with others and ourselves? Is it serving others, loving them even when we don’t want to? Is it letting go of what blocks us from fully reflecting God in our lives? Even better, is it not picking up the mask and ego laden aspirations in the first place?
But it isn’t really about us, is it? My walk on earth is to help me shed this false self and open my entire being for God. He is to be my center, not my ego. I believe God sent us here to experience this human life to reveal and glorify him as the Creator and one God.
After I wrote this post, I went back to the kitchen, but the moth had flown away. He took off on complete wings, not holy ones.
Someday my wings will be transparent too, and holy in a different way – holy transparency.
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