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Failing God, Failing Myself – Lectio Divina

January 23, 2011 By Jean Wise


I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good.



As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.


For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. Romans 7:15-18 (NIV)


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For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out

Lord I failed you this week.
The growing gnawing in my stomach told me something was not right.
Then without warning, someone noticed my little indiscretion, asked about it and wow, a glaring spotlight on my hidden sin.
I am sorry.
I am wrong.
I will make it right.
Why is it that I thought as long as I didn’t get caught, my misconduct could slip by unnoticed?
I am so ashamed to admit I probably would have continued down that dark path if someone hadn’t detected and mentioned my action.
I really do want to do what is right in Your eyes, but like a kid sneaking a cookie, I think my tip-toeing foolishness will harm no one.
But it does hurt others.
      And my sin blocks my path to You. 
             I hurt myself.
                   I hurt our relationship.
I cannot do it on my own.
I need Your spirit to strengthen and guide me.
I am grateful this morning Lord, for embarrassment of being caught.
My discomfort brought me home to You, my Comforter.





















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Comments

  1. blankColleen says

    January 25, 2011 at 2:05 pm

    This scripture verse is one I use often. In spiritual direction and in my own prayer!! Thanks for this reflection!

  2. blankKaren says

    January 25, 2011 at 12:18 am

    “Grateful for the embarrassment of being caught,” wow. Deliciously honest, but brutally hard.

    Been there, done that, too Jeanie.

  3. blankMelinda says

    January 24, 2011 at 10:56 pm

    I’m familiar with that “gnawing feeling,” Jeanie. It’s the worst. Yes, thank God for His grace and for second (and third, and fourth … 🙂 chances!

  4. blankPhather Phil Malmstrom says

    January 24, 2011 at 6:42 pm

    We are flawed by design Jean, and all make mistakes now and again. I’ve learned some very important lessons from my “God Spankings” over the years, and He’s always there to Forgive me when I stray.

    Have a Blessed Day Dear Lady!

  5. blankJean Wise says

    January 23, 2011 at 10:40 pm

    yes, silly humans. That made me smile, Rachel. Thanks

    It is so hard and to watch yourself do what you know you shouldn’t. Thank Heaven for forgiveness.

  6. blankclellascorner.blogspot.com says

    January 23, 2011 at 9:14 pm

    Oh Jeanie, It is hard to realize we are human isn’t it? I, too, have the leaning away from God when I know I am wrong…and I must admit that is more often than I want to say. thank you for sharing this post. Love you Clella

  7. blankRachel says

    January 23, 2011 at 2:23 pm

    I tend to hide from God when I’ve messed up. As if I could! Silly human.

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