We just returned from wonderful visit with college friends who live in Austin Texas. You know the type of lifelong friends that though separated by time and distance, once together it is like you were never apart and pick up the conversation where the words left off years before. And the men often become silly boys once again, but the laughter is so worth it. Yes, so much love!
Austin living is quite different from our rural northwest Ohio vibe. They live in a downtown condo, close to restaurants and all the action. Their style varies from ours too. Contemporary vs. traditional. Sleek vs well, let’s say, our home is full of lots of stuff…
Above their dining room table was a mesmerizing geometric, elegant chandelier -two long intertwining white light bulbs about three feet long, curving in a spiral suspended above our heads. The above photo isn’t theirs but close to what theirs looked like to give you an idea.
I was fascinated by its beauty. It WAS really was gorgeous! Then I surprised myself by saying aloud to my hubby:
“I would never have the COURAGE to buy a light like that.”
I was shocked to hear that sentence. Surprised to catch my word of the year and even more unexpectedly to use my word of the year in a negative way. Was it true? Why or why not? Admitting this made me pause and think even if it was over a silly ceiling fixture – what was really happening here?
Spiritually I have learned over the years to listen to my spirit. When my spirit is jarred, moved, stirred, nudged – this is God telling me to wake up, pay attention, notice what is happening. Saying “I would never have the courage…” was a flashing light. The word courage stood out and I felt God was inviting me to consider and detect a lesson in this moment.
In reality, I would never buy such a chandelier. The style would not fit my style. I appreciated its beauty, its art, its design, but in their home, not mine. But that wasn’t the issue. Even if it was my style, would I have the courage to purchase it? I am not sure, to be honest. Would I be bold enough?
I tend to be more conservative, traditional and let’s say, safe. I chuckled in hearing myself prefer to stay in my comfort zone than taking the risk of trying new things. Afterall what would be the harm in buying a new light? The worse that could happen we wouldn’t like it and have to purchase a new one, right? I know other decisions carry much more serious consequences though. Where was my courage?
My lesson here is too often I react automatically without consciously deciding to choose courage. If I am to take this word of the year courage seriously, it is time to be more daring. To be take hold of courage. To pause and listen deeply to what is calling me, what is my heart saying to me. Daring to be courageous will expand my options, my point of view, my possibilities and even see new kind of ceiling lamp to purchase.
Courage may make me wait a bit. May bring some discomfort, even fear and vulnerability. But that is ok. I am learning to live with uncertainty more in this second half of life. As I heard the other day, fear gets a voice, not a vote. (Jon Acuff) I acknowledge the discomfort of risk and stepping out, but know courage has the more authority and options than playing it safe does.
Will I dare to be more courageous in the future? I am not sure, I hope I will. I choose courage. I will continue to listen to God’s leading and my own voice in this wild adventure of life and I pray for God’s continual shaping in my magnificent spiritual journey even into purchasing wild, eccentric ceiling fixtures!
What new lessons are you learning lately?
What a beautiful and vulnerable post, Jean! I love your self-awareness. Many people wouldn’t have caught their use of the word. I totally get what you’re saying. I admire your courage, friend!
Thanks Lisa, Your monthly and yearly challenge to keep looking at our word of the year keeps me focused on this practice so I do appreciate you!!
One of our ministers just did sermon yesterday on how Abraham’s father traveled to Canaan but stopped short of it, “and settled.” Lack of courage? Was it just comfortable enough? It was a sermon that spoke on the “courage” to step into what God is asking us to do – we only need the courage to do what God asks us – we don’t have to have the courage for things that He doesn’t ask of us. For me sometimes, it feels like a challenge to encourage me to change who God has called me to be – and not all challenges need to be answered. Sometimes it takes courage recognize the desire to “be that other person” and decline to pick up the gauntlet – and stay who God designed you to be.
wow never thought about courage and that Biblical story before. thanks for sharing that insight!! Your comments are so timely for me as I discern something I think God is asking me to consider and I am hesitating. Perhaps I need to pray for courage, right?
I find it so fascinating how your word, courage, chose such an unusual context to speak to you regarding the light fixture, Jean. I love that you shared your experience with us here as we also travel each day with our word for the year. God certainly does like to surprise us with our word, doesn’t He? So glad, too, that you could reunite with dear friends in Austin. Blessings!
I know I was so shocked when my word jumped out of my mouth in that sentence that way – really caught me off guard! and certainly taught me a lesson. God is so good!!
My brother and his wife live in Austin, TX–have visited many times! Did you do some sight-seeing while you were there? Perhaps we’ve visited the same places of interest. / As for courageous interior design choices, I tend to gravitate toward the classic that won’t go out of style too soon. Although you appreciated the beauty of that light fixture, perhaps it was your practical side that inclined you away from purchasing it for yourself!
We ve been there quite a few time with our friends living there but did venture out and around again this time. Such a vibrant city to visit. so full of life. We avoided some places though as it was very crowded with festivals going on but so much fun!! I do want to learn to balance my practical side with more courage side though
Seems like Austin has some festival or other going on every weekend! We do the same–avoid the congested areas!