Who is winning? Fear or anticipation? I have wrestled with both of these emotions while in the present strange and uneasy moments of history we are living in. My head and heart push the panic button easily in this environment spinning out of control on the roller coaster of dealing with so many unknowns, the cancellation of multiple long-awaited life events, and the likelihood of more interruptions looming in the near future. Uncertainty amplifies fear. Fear saps the joy and energy from anticipation. So much of this pandemic has been dealing with naming and tackling various emotions and with God's help, growing stronger and wiser with each lesson. Looking forward to things is half the pleasure of them. Lucy Maud Montgomery I am battling with fear trying to win over the anticipation of good things to come. This morning I realized the struggle was not fear or anticipation, but the solution was fear and anticipation. Not either/or, but both/and. In … [Read more...]
The Spiritual Practice of Being Curious
Are you curious? Periodically I reread my journal entries and this morning read this line from my yearly goals written on January 2, 2020: "I am curious and creative – this gives me a sense of hope, excitement, and energy. I want to expand my imagination, resist mindless busyness and unproductive procrastination and live being curious, not furious." Just think – these words were written pre-pandemic. We didn't know the word Covid 19. "Shelter-in-place" was an activity in my old health department job. Social distancing sounded wonderful to introverts. Kids were in school with plans for graduation and prom. My hubby and I planned some wonderful and huge vacations in the spring and summer. We had no idea what was coming. One goal I have been working on so far in 2020 is reading more and one topic I been digging into is creativity. Yes, that was part of my ambition last January but I was missing a characteristic too. What happen to be being more curious? Yet during this … [Read more...]
Pondering Puzzles in the Pandemic
Puzzles are not normally a hobby, a pastime for me. Nor for my hubby. Yet during this strange time of pandemic we have rediscovered jigsaw puzzles. Mostly we have worked together on the dining room table 1000 piece puzzles. And I know I am not the only one. Puzzles disappeared like toilet paper from the store shelves in April. I knew my sister-in-law had some but didn't realize she had a full closet full of them. Amazing selection and man, have we been having fun piecing together puzzles. Pondering this process of puzzles has also revealed some spiritual insights. Keeping the box nearby to study and recheck guides our way. Seeing the final product on the top of the box gives us clues and keeps us encouraged. Time with God and studying his word works that way too. Too often all we see is the fragments of life. God the Artist, knows the final masterpiece and how beautiful it will be.We often start with the outside frame to get a sense of where we are heading. Having a … [Read more...]
Disconnect Unconnect Reconnect
Reconnect shattered the shell of my heart this past week. We all have been disconnected from loved ones, routines, work, church, and community as we used to know it. We have been living in cocoons, unconnected except for online chats, Facetime, and endless Zoom meetings. I am zoomhausted! At last, a sunny warm day in northwest Ohio graced our lives and I emerged like a mama bear after a long cold winter of hibernation. I stretched. Put on my favorite walking shoes. And hubby and I ventured along the one-mile trek surrounding our little village. Reconnect I love to walk and to finally journey outside felt like Christmas morning. Yet remember my image above – the mama bear – yep I was groggy, sluggish, and bit disoriented. I hungered for movement and focused on each step, stretching stale muscles. Off we went. Our route took us past Edon's famous Dairy Treat, a locally owned and loved throughout the region for treats and a quick dinner. They just recently reopened … [Read more...]
Hope Returns
Hope returns. Where are you finding hope in these uncertain times? My heart yearns for good news. My eyes search for positive signs. I beg God to show me he is still here in the midst of death and doubt. I truly believe God is present and never leaves us. We are the ones who ignore him. Who rush by him. Who put on our blinders, narrowly focusing on what is going wrong and missing his mercy and grace. We are on holy ground all around. We just fail to see. Hope Returns A few weeks ago, I wallowed in my self-pity and whining. Covid 19 mired my perspective and attitude and infected my heart. I pleaded to God to help me see his promises and to revive my soul. That is when hope returned. I write this blog each week from my office with a great window facing my backyard. When I sit in my glider chair in this same room for my morning prayers and devotions my view is the sky and trees. This is my sacred space I have shared in previous posts. I watch the … [Read more...]
The Inner Chapel – New Book by Becky Eldredge
Are you aware of your inner chapel? The idea of an inner chapel intrigued me and invited me into Becky Eldredge's new book, The Inner Chapel, just released this week. She defines the inner chapel as "simply a place within each of us where God dwells and where we can meet God." This book then shares what this means and gives us insight and tools for this fresh idea of spiritual growth. What a reassuring and welcoming image to hold and behold. This is a deep book full of comfort, guidance, and invitation to come closer to God. Its words provide even more value in this time of uncertainty and fear. To know we are not alone, no matter where we are or what our circumstances are – God is with us. The Inner Chapel is a book overflowing with God's promises and offerings of insights to new approaches to prayer. Promises such as: We Are Not AloneWe have ShelterWe Belong to GodWe are Fully Seen and Offered MercyWe have a Companion in Our Suffering In our … [Read more...]
Grief and Gratitude – Antidotes for the Coronavirus
Could grief and gratitude be antidotes for the shroud of the coronavirus enveloping our hearts and minds? I feel bombarded by every aspect of life impacted by this pandemic. Blogs. News. Texts. Emails. Memes. Advertisements. Conversations. Pandemic comes from the Greek language - pan meaning all and demos being people. Something affecting all people. Not just the number of people but also the huge influence on individuals and society. Coronavirus has hijacked our lives and consumed our time. Grief Last week I mentioned I am being aware of naming my emotions and the one that keeps rising within me to describe this discomfort I am experiencing is grief. Remember the feelings we undergo with grief? Shock, disbelief, anger, sadness, resolution/acceptance. One aspect of healing is to admit what we have lost. The loss of connection. The loss of worshiping together. The loss of work. The loss of life. The economic loss. The loss of vacation. The loss of a … [Read more...]
A Spiritual Spinning Spring – How Are You Feeling- Really?
Whoa! Remember a few weeks ago when we were deciding what to give up for Lent, planning spring and summer vacations, and knew each day what routine and rules governed our daily living? We didn't wonder how much toilet paper we had in our cupboards. Whether we would have worship Sunday morning. Which restaurants to go to Friday night. When we would see and hug our grandkids. Spring certainly took an unexpected spin, didn't it? How are you feeling? Really. How are you? I am a three on the Enneagram and find it so hard to name the emotions I am experiencing, but I am trying. ShockedSadOverwhelmedDistractedScatteredShatteredSpinningDisconnectedInconvenienced yet blessedWavering between being scared, allowing my eyes to focus on the world vs. trusting and keeping the eyes of my heart only on our Almighty God.Experiencing tears of the grief of what is being lost, then tears of joy from human humor and selfless kindness. Most of you don't know … [Read more...]