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Lamenting in this Time of Grief

June 9, 2020 By Jean Wise

Lamenting

Lamenting. This is a word we don’t use much anymore but it is a spiritual practice that arises in a time of grief. Right now, I am overwhelming with loss, sadness, and to be honest, heartache. I am lamenting.

I am a number three on the Enneagram so I have much difficulty in naming my emotions. I want to keep up my image of an optimist, in charge Christian. I hold onto the smiling mask to my face so you don’t see my weakness. I don’t want to bother you with my burdens. But today I will confess I am lamenting. I am grieving. I am crushed with the weight of discouragement and depression.

I am not going to list here all the upheaval that I am sure all of us have faced the past few months. You know them. On top of our collective experience, each of us also feels raw from personal disappointments, difficult decisions, and unknown discernment of our next steps. We didn’t choose or desire these troubling times.

Not your normal hope and uplifting inspiration you usually find here at healthy spirituality. I apologize. Yet the practice of recognizing what we are feeling and expressing these emotions in a healthy manner is part of life. I hear God inviting me to pause and behold my present moment, acknowledging how I feel and how much I need him.

Today I lament.

The Spiritual Practice of Lamenting.

Ever consider lamenting to be part of your spiritual toolbox to grow closer to God?   The past few weeks I have been reading about lament and letting go. Perhaps this practice is most appropriate for us at this time, even essential for us.

Lament arrives in our hearts when our world flips upside down and we lose our sense of meaning and balance. Our faith shatters. I told God this morning I felt like I was on thin ice and could hear the foundation beneath me cracking. I smiled when I sense he told me he had the whole world in his hands and that included me. He would catch me. Hold me. Save me.

Lament fills the pages of the Bible, especially in the psalms where 1/3 of all these wonderful verses are lament. Job and the book of Lamentations present us with lament as much of the Old Testament prophets.  And Jesus wept – when Lazarus died, over Jerusalem and on the night he prayed in the garden before his arrest and crucifixion. Lament is a normal human reaction. God understands.

“Lament is not despair. It is not whining. It is not a cry into a void. Lament is a cry directed to God. It is the cry of those who see the truth of the world’s deep wounds and the cost of seeking peace. It is the prayer of those who are deeply disturbed by the way things are.” – Emmanuel M. Katongole and Chris Rice, Reconciling All Things

Lament isn’t a lack of faith; it is a step into faith, into the unknown with God guiding and being with us. God invites us to come closer and cry with him. He collects our tears.

“Truly this is my hope and my only comfort – to fly to you in any trouble, to trust steadfastly in you, to call inwardly upon you, to abide patiently your coming and your heavenly consolations.” — From The Imitation of Christ, by Thomas á Kempis

How I Practiced Lamenting

I rest.  I repent.  God refreshes.

I paused this morning and came to God in grief.

I started with several moments of slow deep breathing (actually I think I paused to breathe in and out more than 10 minutes until I finally let to into God’s presence). Next, I filled a legal pad size paper full of feelings, complaints, and fears.

My trembling hands gripped the paper – me on one side, God on the other. Together we held my written lament. It took time to release them to him. Funny how we can cling to even bad, uncomfortable feelings. I read this morning on Godspace this description:

“There is a picture in my mind of a person lying on top of a cliff holding on for dear life to something that has fallen over the edge. Energy and strength draining out, and down over the cliff. If she just opens her grip and lets go, she can rest, regain strength and energy, get up and walk away, back into …what?

Leaning into Jesus, with open hands and arms no longer filled with losses that weigh us down.

When we are so busy holding on to the losses that anchor us to that cliff, it is difficult to look up and see the hand of Christ reaching down, it is even harder to reach out with open hands to take hold of the hope of resurrection that Christ offers.” 

This image helped me let go.

I confessed I am weak. I told God how much I needed his strength. I need God. I can’t do this on my own. His presence invited me to rest in his grace.

We took this written confession out to the kitchen where the paper shredder awaited. I prayed once again then as I inserted the paper to be tattered into bits. 

I thanked God for his goodness, forgiveness, and openness to give me permission to lament.

This catharsis occurred this morning. As I write this later in the afternoon a sense of calmness permeates my heart. The weight of the world has lessened. God is in control.

Rest. Repent. Refresh.  The recipe for lament, nourishing me in my hunger for peace and filling me with hope.

Perhaps you need to lament too.

Maybe allow yourself to grieve, to cry, to sob your sorrow to the Lord.

I am thankful for the practice of lamenting that helps me release my control, my sadness, and my fears into God’s safe and abiding hands.

How do you practice lamenting?

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Comments

  1. Dolly says

    June 11, 2020 at 5:12 pm

    Jean,

    Yes. Amen. Thank you.

    Shalom and love,

    Dolly

    • blankJean Wise says

      June 12, 2020 at 11:08 am

      amen!

  2. blankCyndi Raines says

    June 11, 2020 at 3:26 pm

    Well, I am reading this today on the 11th as for the past 2 days, (maybe even more like almost a week,) I have really been struggling and it’s all i can do to get through my daily devotions. Thank you for such a timely, honest message. I too am lamenting for several reasons within my own world and the state of our country. I haven’t written items down, but maybe I should and that will help me let go. I am not a complainer by nature, always trying to making lemon-aid out of lemons, but I have to admit, I am tired. And yes, I feel overwhelmed. On my own I decided I needed more rest, repented if I was complaining, (although I felt like I was just venting, I like the term lamenting better) and I did feel somewhat better today. Your message was confirmation to me and so timely, Thank you! ♥️

    • blankJean Wise says

      June 12, 2020 at 11:08 am

      you know I almost didn’t write and post this as I felt vulnerable yet it has resonated with so many people, Shows me once again to follow God’s leading in my writing. Praying for you and your process in lamenting!

  3. blankLisa notes says

    June 10, 2020 at 3:58 pm

    I have been reading so much about lamenting in Be the Bridge this week. And have needed every word of it and of your post here. There is so much to grieve in our outer worlds right now, not to mention whatever inner circle grieving we may also be experiencing.

    Thank you for reminding us to let it all out and sit with God in it. Out of confession and repentance and grief comes much healing. I know I need that. Thanks, Jean.

    • blankJean Wise says

      June 12, 2020 at 11:09 am

      Didn’t know that was in that book too. We are all being called to lament in all these events. I need this too, Lisa

  4. blankNancy Ruegg says

    June 9, 2020 at 5:35 pm

    Another AMEN from my corner, Jean. I love the idea of writing down all the emotions stirred up by current circumstances and then putting that paper in the growling shredder to chew it up to bits! Thank you for the Thomas a Kempis quote, too. Praise God for his heavenly consolations!

    • blankJean Wise says

      June 9, 2020 at 7:42 pm

      I had to let go of that paper first, though. It was tougher than I thought but quite a holy moment when it finally happened. And the peace and less weight has stayed with me for the past week too. An amazing experience. I am grateful for God!

  5. blankPat Forsman says

    June 9, 2020 at 10:05 am

    Thank you jean for your honesty….is very refreshing to have my feelings acknowledged…this is a hard time and im tired of keeping a “stiff upper lip”…..so nice to hear others are sad too….as pathetic as that sounds….we have the Lord and He has us…i will pray for you….again….thank you..

    • blankJean Wise says

      June 9, 2020 at 2:45 pm

      I almost didn’t post this so appreciate your support and companionship on this journey of griefl Yes lets keep praying for one another.

      • blankAvi says

        June 29, 2020 at 9:26 pm

        Thank you…keeping it real is such a healthy way of moving forward . To grieve our lost n define them gives us a living hope.

        • blankJean Wise says

          June 30, 2020 at 9:23 am

          Thank you for your kind words

  6. blankLinda Stoll says

    June 9, 2020 at 8:33 am

    Jean, thank you for talking about our deep need to lament. So much has piled up on us in recent months and in order to move ahead with clarity and sanity, we need to do the hard work of grief.

    And out of this challenging place, God will give us what we need ‘for life and godliness’ as we continue our journey forward.

    May we not rush through the lamenting we need to do. Our grief will only pile up if we neglect this needed practice.

    Bless you …

    • blankJean Wise says

      June 9, 2020 at 2:44 pm

      Thank you for accepting me to lament today here. It is challenging and I wasn’t sure how much to share but wondered if others felt this same way. Bless you too

  7. blankMartha Jane Orlando says

    June 9, 2020 at 8:05 am

    These are precisely the words I needed to hear today, Jean. I’ve been struggling during these times, too, and it’s so freeing to know that lamenting is a spiritual act, one that brings us closer to God. I will name my feelings and fears, and take them to the Lord.
    Blessings, my friend!

    • blankJean Wise says

      June 9, 2020 at 2:43 pm

      Thank you Martha. I felt very vulnerable and not sure how honest I should be but decided just to let it all out. To be honest I have felt lighter and so much more at peace after this. Sure do appreciate your comment

Healthy Spirituality – a sacred space to nurture your faith, grow closer to God, and belong to a community, walking together on life’s journey. This blog is written by author, speaker and retreat leader Jean Wise

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