Holy Transparency! I noticed the moth clinging to the screen as I cleaned the kitchen. He stayed for quite awhile, in stillness, silent like he has something to tell me.
The poor thing, I thought. Holes scattered throughout his wings like a shotgun had pelleted his only means of moving. I felt sad for this little creature, stuck in one place, his wings full of gaps.
I cleaned. I watched. I listened.
Then I looked closer.
My first impression of what I was seeing was all-wrong. His wings were not holey at all. The parts I thought were broken were transparent allowing the light to shine through.
Lord, help me be transparent so you shine through.
Holy Transparency!
Being transparent isn’t easy. I want to keep up appearances you know. After all I have worked a lifetime perfecting my mask of “everything is all right” and “I have my act all together.”
Will people really like me if I step out of the way? I know my ego won’t go away without a struggle. Fear stalks even the bravest when we are vulnerable. In my occasional humbler moments, I still wonder what others think about me. Rats, I hate this self-centeredness.
How do we become more transparent? How do we reflect this holy transparency?
Is it being honest with others and ourselves? Is it serving others, loving them even when we don’t want to? Is it letting go of what blocks us from fully reflecting God in our lives? Even better, is it not picking up the mask and ego laden aspirations in the first place?
But it isn’t really about us, is it? My walk on earth is to help me shed this false self and open my entire being for God. He is to be my center, not my ego. I believe God sent us here to experience this human life to reveal and glorify him as the Creator and one God.
After I wrote this post, I went back to the kitchen, but the moth had flown away. He took off on complete wings, not holy ones.
Someday my wings will be transparent too, and holy in a different way – holy transparency.
What do you think about holy transparency?
I worked so hard the first part of my adult life on these masks and now in the second half of life, find myself shedding most of them. Key moment last year on retreat when I realized even my image of myself at the present moment, who I thought I really was in my core was still just an image and had to be surrendered. I am a child of God – no mask needed.
Your words are always so kind, your heart shines through in these comments.
Only a fellow writer would really understand, Lynn. thanks for understanding I am NOT crazy. LOL
Excellent post, Jean… on many levels. I love this line…”Being transparent isn’t easy. I want to keep up appearances
you know. After all I have worked a lifetime perfecting my mask of “everything is all right” and
“I have my act all together.”” because it made me feel less alone and disfigured.
I’ve even gone so far as to spiritualize my mask, convincing myself that I need to be ok, so that others will find strength and faith that they can be “ok” too. ( Heaven help them if they are as “ok” as me!)
We all do so want to be loved, admired and valued. And for those that come to know you, it is easy to find all those things in you. You are well equipped by God to bless those that come in contact with you and inspire us all to keep reaching.
LOL I totally understand! Been there!
I think you are onto something, Nancy about it happening over time. I know the older I get, the less I cling to and the easier it is to be the real me and not worry as much about what others think. I do so want to shine like stars! that is a great bible verse. Have a wonderful weekend.
THanks Kim, glad you liked this post. That still little moth spook volumes to me! Like my own little lesson from heaven.
That moth really spoke to me, Lynn. My hubby just shook his head as I tried to take its photo.
I think being honest and authentic are the keys to transparency, Ceil. You are so right about paying attention to every moment. Those masks go on quickly don’t they?
Do you suppose transparency happens over time? Slowly but surely Jesus peels away the layers of sin, self-centeredness, fear, pride, etc. Slowly but surely we begin to shine like stars (Philippians 2:20) as His brilliant light glows from within. And I agree with you, Jean. God uses all of life’s experiences to help us shed the layers. Yet even during the process (not just at the end) we can bring God glory–through growth, faith, praise, and obedience. Thank you for stretching my thinking, Jean!
Hi Jean, Love the moth story. I am a work in progress. He will know when I am complete. Kim
Ooo…love that! I always tell hubby…what you see is what you get! I’m the same me to everyone. Still have to work on the holy me God wants me to be! Great post, sweet Jean!
Hi Jean! I think transparency is something I work on every day, I just didn’t call it that. Trying to listen, be honest and authentic..it’s all an effort because it means I have to pay attention to every moment. And that’s the point of a life of light.
I think!
Happy Thursday!
Ceil