We all have them. Assumptions. Biases. Preconceived notions.
We cling to them.
We defend them.
We bet our lives on them.
Sometimes they are so much a part of us, we aren’t even aware of their presence.
And sometimes we unclutched our fists and let them go.
We visited Boston this past week for the Fourth of July.
Yes we heard the Boston Pops and witness – dare I say – the best fireworks display I have ever seen.
Yes, we experienced Hurricane Arthur, but the wettest moment occurred walking back to the hotel 12 hours before Arthur’s arrival in a sudden downpour, fierce wind gusts and brilliant lightening.
Yes, most of the time the weather cooperated and Boston opened her arms to embrace us.
Boston’s warm and everywhere we turned hospitality won our hearts and made us her fans.
My assumption, bias and preconceived notion? I am ashamed to write this now, but I didn’t want to go back to Boston. In the past my experience of that city in the northeast was rude and full of “east coast attitude.”
This small town Midwest gal expected the worse. I was wrong.
Boston – you wow’d me.
I saw residents politely thank law enforcement for watching and protecting them in the massive crowds celebrating the holiday.
People who served us in restaurants, tourist areas, and the hotel went out of their way to be helpful and friendly. They actually seemed to enjoy their work and had fun interacting with us.
People smiled and held doors for us.
The icing on the cake was getting an email from Irene, one of this blog’s commenters who shares wonderful resources with all who read here. I didn’t know but she lives there and invited Bill and me to sit with her and her family during the fireworks. Of course a local knows the best viewing spot, so we jumped at the chance, not only to meet her, but also to enjoy the holiday with her. Thank you, Irene!
It is so much fun to meet in person people you meet in a blog!
This experience in Boston – assuming the worse, clinging to previous biases about the Northeast and holding onto preconceived notions about New England attitude reminded me of what St Ignatius teaches about disordered attachments.
St. Ignatius called anything that hinders us from growing closer to God or doing His will a “disordered attachment.” These could be good things, just not in the right priority.
What fills my hearts first instead of God? The list is endless. Physical things – like loving my house or brand new car. Feelings: clinging to self-pity or discouragement or anger instead of love and faith. Holding tightly to a pastor, the way we used to do things at church or even my images of God. Clinging to my prejudices and assumptions also become obstacles to the truth and the Truth.
Thank you Boston. Thank you for reminding me that good exists everywhere. Thank you for helping me unfurl my fists and let go on my assumptions, biases and preconceived notions. I was the one with the bad attitude – not you.
And thank you for your warm hospitality and the nudge to consider: What else am I clinging to falsely? Time to open my eyes and heart and seriously listen to God, letting his light shine on what else needs to go. Quite a lesson I got this past week and I am grateful for what I learned.
Have you had a time where you realized your assumption was wrong?
thanks for sharing your experience…and reminding me that all is not what I think it is. I, too, have often held preconceived ideas particularly about people I have not met. but only heard about. Often I find I am wrong again. Good post Jean
Hard lesson for me to admit, Clella but people were so kind. I think in reality there is much more goodness in the world that I often see or am open to see. Thanks for stopping by!
My husband and I are transitioning into retirement, far distant from where we lived for many years. Now we’re near our sons and babysitting our granddaughter each day. But what else might God have in store? Your advice, Jean, is good for our situation, too: let go of preconceived notions, open our eyes and hearts, and seriously listen to God. Our assumptions of what retirement would be might be completely different than his plan!
Hi Nancy, hope you are getting settled in. I love the second half of life and all the adventures retirement has brought. amazing journey. Aren’t you in Ohio now? I live in the northwest corner and would love to meet up someday.
best piece of advise given to me and I may have shared it with you so to give yourself 6 months before making big commitments in retirement. Ease into this new chapter of your life. keep me posted on how it is going for you!
I would love to meet up someday! Yes, we are in Ohio, in the southwest corner, so a bit of travel will be involved! Thank you for your advice which corroborates what another couple told us. Your affirmation adds more conviction to the truth of the matter! Right now I’m just relishing being close to our sons, daughters-in-law, and baby granddaughter.
oh yes do enjoy the time with your family. Two of mine live nearby and THE three grandkids within 5 miles – so I am blessed and am very very grateful.
We do travel lots – one reason why I get behind on commenting on blogs and answering them – but if we are heading your way and have the time I will contact you and maybe we can meet up for lunch or dinner. Just this morning we talked about the fact we haven’t been to Kings Island or a Reds game for quite a while…. Yes we will do this!
Jean – I am so glad your visit went so wonderfully. It is so true how we can make assumptions & they often prove false. I live about 15 minutes north of Boston & am glad we wowed you 🙂 Blessings!
Hello to Boston. I just loved it there and people were so wonderful warm and hospitable. Made our trip extra special. I think there is much more good in the world than we see and so grateful Boston open my eyes to that fact. Have a terrific week!
My latest post touches on this very subject, though mine is more about accepting change and going with the flow of life. But, that also means letting go of preconceived ideas and notions, doesn’t it? So glad your trip to Boston enlightened your spirit, Jean. Blessings!
I am just now catching up from traveling last week and have your post marked to read soon. amazing we write about similar topics! Hope you are having a terrific week, Martha!