My Thick Head – Relearning Life Lessons!

I relearned a lesson a few weeks ago. In fact, two lessons. Sometimes my thick head is so hard God sends me these lessons multiple times – LOL.  Anyway, the lessons were to remind me most of my difficulties are really first world problems and get a perspective in life. I am really quite blessed and can handle most things with some space, a couple of deep breaths and a little bit of time. Maybe a good cry too. I know some problems are much worse, but many of our problems are really nuisances – we make them much more. Well, that is what I did last week!

The phone rang and as soon as I saw the caller ID and I knew. It was the Florida resort we were staying at this coming May. The one that was hit by two hurricanes last fall but had reopened.  We had requested pre-storm a specific unit with its own private hot tub in a secluded area.  I specifically made that reservation early to secure that room and was so excited to finally stay in that location. Since we hadn’t heard from them after the storm I ASSUMED that section of the resort was open and all was well until they called.  Yes the news was what I suspected.  The unit was still damaged. The hot tub wasn’t even there. We were offered a different location – a unit we had stayed previously, nice but not as unique. The lady on the other end of the phone was kind – what a tough job she has – and gave us a few days to decide to take the change or cancel the trip.  We told her we would call back.

Disappointed. I was crushed. I pouted like a two-year-old.  In fact, I did cry a bit. My hubby and I discussed all sorts of other options including canceling the whole trip. Of course that depressed me even more. I allowed this phone call to ruin my evening.

The next morning, I prayed. No, let me clarify. I whined to God.  What should I do?  I heard God gently whisper, “Go. Just go.” 

It was so silly.  Of course. What a gift we had. Why were we going to Florida in the first place?  For the sunshine. For the beach. For the time together.  We still had all that.  We still had a lovely place to stay. We are so blessed to be able to do this. Of course. Go. As soon as I heard that sacred whisper, I knew what to do. I humbly thanked God for guidance and blessings.

When we call the resort back to confirm the new reservation, I think the lady was surprised and actually relieved we were coming.

I wasted an evening fussing over nothing, a silly disappointment, a first world problem, a minor glitch. Though I have learned to know myself well by now when disappointment hits, I do turn to a few hours of self-pity before I can let it go into a better attitude. Why be so miserable for so long though?  When will I learn?

The second lesson came a few days later with reflection. Why did I react so disproportionally? What was really going on? Time for a check in. Physically I felt ok. I was well rested. I was drinking my water. Eating ok. Spiritually I felt connected with God. I was praying, journaling, was meeting with my spiritual director.

For an introvert I had even been quite a bit with friends lately so could check off the social box too.

Then it dawned on me. No, my friends weren’t a bad influence, but I felt emotionally drained. I am taking a grief companioning class right now (which is very good) and one assignment was to listen to a friend’s grief story. I spent a morning in a coffee shop listening to her story and carried her sorrow in my heart for many days. Other dear friends were also walking the path of grief right now and we hugged and cried with them as we so wanted to. All this was good and the right thing to do, but my soul needed some self-care, some kindness, some time to refill. I overreacted because I was on empty. A good lesson. A time for self-care.

I knew both lessons – the value of self-care and how to handle disappointment – these were lessons I have been through time and time before in my life but once again encountered. I guess I did recognize and name them and I can still grow from them. As I write this I am smiling too as to be honest both lessons feel part of my quirkiness, part of who I am.

Sometimes I overreact to disappointment by bottoming out but give me some time and I will bounce back. With a little self-reflection I will assess my soul and know what and when I need some self-care and will seek some kindness for my spirit. Maybe my hard head is learning after all!

What life lessons are you learning?