My dad died on November 12, 1966.
At the end of October as I flipped the calendar to November, the 12th jumped into my attention, piercing my heart once again. Funny how anniversaries of the death of those we love echoes in our souls, aggravating the scar left by their love.
Grief is a roller coaster that brings unexpected twists and turns that jar our spirit, awakening memories. Memories bringing comfort, joys, and smiles. Memories dosed with regrets, and what if’s too.
The spiritual practice of remembering is powerful and life-giving.
Ever hear of Yahrzeit? I hadn’t until I read about this practice the other day.
Yahrzeit is a Yiddish word that means anniversary of a death. Our Jewish friends light a special long-burning candle on the anniversary of a loved one’s death in their memory. Isn’t that delightful?
Many traditions believe that the candle is the symbol of the soul. This is loosely based on Proverbs 20: 27. The spirit of man is the candle of the Lord, searching all the inward parts of the belly.
All Saints’ Sunday occurred in many churches a few weeks ago and the name of those who died this past year were read and honored. In my own church a special prayer was shared, a candle lit, the bell tolled, and a white rose was given to a family member. Honor and remembrance help healing.
For Yahrzeit, in some reformed synagogues, the names of the dead are recited. In homes too this single candle is lit on the anniversary date, not necessity the secular date of death, but on the Hebrew date. Online sites can calculate this date.
This tradition is also a special time for prayer. Family member share stories and reflect about the legacy he or she gave to them. Honor and remembrance celebrate life.
I never really considered an ongoing anniversary ritual honoring my parents’ memories.
So on November 12 I plan to light a candle. I will offer a prayer of thanksgiving for my dad’s life. I will journal about memories, especially what he taught me. I will pass on a story or two to the next generation about his life. I will reflect how he still shapes me today.
I will honor and remember my dad.
Yes, yes. Let us remember, let us celebrate their legacies, let’s take the time to be right in this moment …
I think your key words are legacy and time. Intentionally taking the time to honor those who gave us life and launch us on the right path.
Thank you Jean. A very touching post inded and one dear to my heart as today is one month since my brother passed and tomorrow will be 16 years with my dad’s passing. My dad was a WWII hero and passed on Veteran’s day. His favorite song was “Onward Christan Soldiers” and we felt like we received a God-wink when the Father called him home on Veteran’s Day. I like the idea of burning a candle in remembrqnce and thank you for teaching us another new word. Thank you for sharing this special memory. I totally love and agree with your last paragraph and think you were a darling baby, what a great picture of you both. Peace and comfort to you.
My heart is with you….
our Cyndi I am so sorry about your brother. My prayers are with you
Jesus said…”do this in remembrance of Me”….
amen
I too am so glad you shared these traditions, Jean, for honoring beloved saints who’ve gone before us. That picture of you and your dad is precious! I am so sorry he died when you both were so young, making the experience all the more painful. The anniversary of my father’s death was November 5–my mother’s birthday. He was 94 when he died. Mom had already graduated to heaven four years before on October 9–her dad’s birthday. I love to think that Dad gave Mom a big birthday surprise when he arrived there! / I’m going to write that white rose idea on my calendar for a family member whose father died in a particularly tragic way ten years ago or so. It is still a painful day of remembrance. Thank you, Jean, for another helpful post!
isn’t this a grand tradition? I think it is an intentional practice to honor and remember them. Love your story about the birthday present. That sound comforting
What a beautiful tradition, Jean, and I hope your experience will transcend sadness and help you remember how much of your Dad has never left you…has, in fact, touched others through you. Blessings!
Yes it is a wonderful tradition. blessing for you too
This is beautiful, Jean. I love this practice you’ve shared here today, and will definitely consider doing this going forward. What a wonderful way to remember those we love who have gone before us.
Blessings!
Isn’t it amazing how healing candles – symbolizing God’s light – is healing and comforting. Mirroring just a small portion of a great God