“I’m imperfect and I’m enough.” Sounds good on the video, but not sure I really believe it.
“I’m imperfect and I’m enough.” Why did I ever sign up for this course and nobody will ever know if I don’t write about it. I will just stay in the shadows and not take the risk.
“I’m imperfect and I’m enough.” Yeah, right. Had my hubby take the photo above – one of the class assignments – but of course I had to edit it and touch up my cold sore and age spots before posting it here. Then in a silly moment I told some others what I did and Kathy said to me, “I read your blog and now will look to be sure you post this.” Rats, now I’m stuck out in the open.
YIKES what have I done? I am feeling rather exposed, vulnerable, self-conscious here.
You see I am taking an online class taught by one of my favorite teachers, Brene Brown. In readings, activities and videos it’s like having a cup of coffee with a good friend, enjoying deep conversation. I finish thinking, sure I can do this…then two days later when writing this post, I panic.
What will you think?
Will you laugh?
Will be unsubscribe?
Will you think less of me?
The course is based on Brene Brown’s book The Gifts of Imperfections. When we accept that we are imperfect and that is enough, we find the riches of courage, compassion and connection. One of our first assignments was to write this statement on our hands and have a photo taken taking this pledge.
Now I know this are just words, but it is a pledge to myself. I have been surprised at my gut reaction to this, which tells me I need to pray and let God shape this inner work within me. In order to do this will take courage and self compassion and connecting with Him and with that deep place of inadequacy within me that I don’t like to reveal publicly – on a blog, in any of my writing or verbally even to my most trusted friends. Too often we expect to keep the mask of perfection up and held tightly so our true imperfect self won’t show.
But even with my flaws, my mistakes, my ups and downs, God loves and accepts me as I am. As the quote from Paul Tillich that I shared last Saturday goes:
“The courage to be is the courage to accept oneself,
in spite of being unacceptable.”
Brene writes that wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. It means we wake up in the morning knowing that no matter what gets done and how much is left undone, we are enough, And at the end of the day, all our imperfections, vulnerabilities and even fears will never change that fact that we can be brave and worthy of love and belonging.
And this takes practice. A life long journey of being formed by God, loved by God, led by God. A daily practice of knowing God loves me as I am and I am enough as he created me.
I am wondering: the more compassion and gentleness I allow myself to give to myself, the more compassion and acceptance I will feel towards others. How would my life be different if I were kinder and gentler with my self talk and conflicting emotions?
She writes, “If we want to live and love with our whole hearts, and if we want to engage with the world from a place of worthiness, we have talk about the things that get in the way – especially shame, fear and vulnerability.”
So I post this photo of me, still edited since I am ashamed of a silly cold sore, still with some fear you will laugh at me and still with tons of vulnerability. Removing those ill-fitting masks, I am beginning to say a little louder and with more resolve,
“I’m imperfect and I’m enough.”
Jean,
This post makes me love you even more…really 🙂 Appreciate you getting real…
I love Brene Browns work. It is so powerful. Her online class is pushing me out of my comfort zone too. Thanks for retweeting this and always being such a good friend.
First of all… Great picture!
I love this post! I know when you are called to inspire, uplift, and encourage, there comes a sense of responsibility to lead by example. That is appreciated and always a gift to your readers. This, however, speaks to the heart greatest cry – Am I loveable?
I read the quote earlier in the week and it landed in my heart precisely at the most significant of times. I so desperately needed to hear, not only that God loves me, but that He loves me just as I am right now… for who I am right now. Blemishes and all.
Sometimes hearing God loves me, not in spite of the dirty low down undeserving screw up that I really am, but because He has indeed stepped over any gulf that lies between us and says. I love you, because I created you and paid a unmeasurable price just to be with YOU. What kind of love is that.
How clever is our enemy to have us believe that vulnerability and exposure will turn people away. The opposite is true! As I read this post, the fondness and admiration I have for you only grew! Thank you for your example of courage, compassion, and connection–courage to be vulnerable, compassion to be understanding and accepting of others, and connection through honesty. (No doubt every reader will smile with empathy at your confession of the photo-shopped cold sore!)
P.S. Were you able to figure out the “Blogs I Follow” feature?
Nancy your kind comment made my day. I am learning that it is ok to live with being vulnerable. Quite a change for me from a few years ago. step by step, right?
No I haven’t yet figured out the Blogs I Follow feature?What plug in is that?
Sorry – you don’t lose me as a subscriber that easily. 🙂
Mark Schultz has an album titled “Broken and Beautiful” – that’s us; the bride of Christ, being made whole through His work within our shells.
I don’t get over to comment as much as I’d like to in this season – a little busy is a polite oversimplification – but I love it when we risk being real, and have to respond to that. 🙂
Rick you made me smile Thanks. and thanks for your encouragement. I will hunt up that Mark Schultz music. Thanks!
You are great! Love you! And your article. Jennifer Dukes Lee wrote an article over at High Calling entitled How Your Need for Approval Can Hold You Back in Your Work. You might want to check it out. http://www.thehighcalling.org/family/how-your-need-approval-can-hold-you-back-your-work#.UuHQJ7ROnIV
Thanks Lynn, I will check out that article. sounds great. You always are so good to share. I appreciate that
So proud of you! As a continual recovering perfectionist, I’m so very glad that God is enough!
Kathy, what a good reminder about recovering from perfectionism is a continually process. I needed to hear that today. Thanks!!
oh forgot to say what a great picture! and love your new blog site.
As far as I am concerned, you are more than enough!!!A super friend! What a good post for my morning. I, too, am feeling quite vulnerable this morning. We know God loves us in spite of ourselves, but sometimes we don’t really believe it. thanks for reminding me today.
Oh Clella you are such an encourager! Thank you for walking with me in life and in our moments of vulnerability and thanks for your nice comments about the blog.
Dear Jean
It has been ages since I have last visited your place. I love your new design. It has so much more space for words to “breathe” beauty! Jean, I for one, don’t think we can truly be able to totally depend on our Pappa until we really know how totally hopeless we are without Him. So in a sense it is such a good thing to know how incomplete we are. We need Him to fill our hearts with His love before we will ever be able to see ourselves and others through His eyes.
Blessings for 2014 XX
Mia
I think with the holidays and extra travel that past month, I have been reading blogs but skipping the comments too. I do miss your positive and loving words and when I see you have visited here, I smile. So glad we have connected.