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Regrets

April 11, 2013 By Jean Wise

regrets
Regrets?  Do you have regrets?
A friend of mine a few years back worked in admissions in a nursing home. One day he admitted a frail, elderly lady in a wheelchair. The lady looked him right in the eye and said to him,
“Don’t wake up one day and be like me. Too old now to do what I really wanted to do. Time moves so quickly. Do what you deeply want now.”
Her words struck him and he knew right away what to do. Strange as it may sound he wanted to change his first name legally. After that momentous conversation with this lady, he made the appointment with his lawyer to begin the process. He did change his name and never regretted taking this action.
“The Top Five Regrets of the Dying” published last year by AARPcaught my eye recently.
What were those regrets?
1.  I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the number one regret of all. At the end of life, people reflect about dreams they wished they had tried to fulfill.
My lesson: Honor and listen to my dreams.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.

Like the saying goes, no one on their deathbed wishes they spent more time at the office.

My lesson: Turn off this darn computer and get off my smart phone and really be present and BE with those I love more often.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

Healthy relationships rely on honest, open and loving sharing of true emotions.

My lesson: Ponder how honest I am in my relationships. My first impulse is to say I am but this is a wonderful opportunity to listen and observe myself. Maybe I will discover something new. I do know as I grow older, I am more honest.  Will probably turn into a cantankerous old woman someday! HA!

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

I have written on this blog how strongly I feel about the importance of lifelong friendships. Also I am learning how to let go of being bothered by interruptions, treating them as nuisances, and embrace them as intermissions and opportunities.

My lesson:Another chance to ponder. Is there someone I want to reconnect with from my past?

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

The article mentioned this was also a very common regret. So often we let life drag us down instead of choosing to be happier. Our natural tendency may be to fret, get discouraged, or want to give up, but with God we can recognize our default mode and make the decision to live in His freedom, joy and love.

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

 

Matthew 6: 25-34

My lesson: Choose Christ. Choose to dance in His joy.
This is the time to think about regrets, not later in life when you can’t do much about them.
I wrote a few months ago a post about regrets, but these five wishes made me pause and think again about life.

What lessons have you learned from regrets?

 

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Filed Under: spiritual lessons

Comments

  1. blankJean Wise says

    April 13, 2013 at 12:03 am

    I thought at first you were going to break out in song with Frank’s lyrics in your first line of the comments. LOL

    I was fascinated by this list of regrets and they really made me think

  2. blankJean Wise says

    April 13, 2013 at 12:02 am

    Love your comment, Gail. Retirement years can be so meaningful. and I agree the longer I am married, the more I enjoy and love my hubby. The second half of life for me has been very rewarding.

  3. blankNancy Franson says

    April 12, 2013 at 2:21 pm

    Regrets–I’ve had a few. I think these are all things which most of us have heard or know, at least at some deep level. And yet, I can go about my daily life as though I’ve never heard such things. It is so easy to forget, to be purposeful about these things. And that’s why a post like this is so important. I need to be reminded constantly of these things so I don’t open myself up to regret.

    Good stuff.

  4. blankGailBP says

    April 12, 2013 at 11:56 am

    Dear Jean, this is such good stuff!

    I appreciate hearing these regrets and your response to each. As a “retired” couple, trying to live on less so we can use our retirement for people and ministry, we’re finding that the norm is to keep working until you pretty much lose your health. I wish other seniors understood #2. It is such a blessing to spend our remaining years doing part-time ministry overseas, having lots of time for our grandchildren, and time to really enjoy our marriage. I know some folks have to keep working, but many we know just can’t seem to give it up even though they are able.

    And I was convicted by some of the other regrets you mentioned. Great reminders. Thanks.

  5. blankJean Wise says

    April 11, 2013 at 5:07 pm

    I know this list really hit me when I read those regrets. Now my hubby will tell you I do spend too much time tucked away here in my office away from him but I do plan to make a good effort to be with him, really be with him better.

  6. blankMia says

    April 11, 2013 at 11:11 am

    Dearest Jean
    This is another one of my favorites! I am going to show this one to my dearest husband. That one loooooves working very hard.
    Blessings
    Mia

Healthy Spirituality – a sacred space to nurture your faith, grow closer to God, and belong to a community, walking together on life’s journey. This blog is written by author, speaker and retreat leader Jean Wise

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