Heavy silence draped the normally chatty room.
My Weight Watcher leader shared a list of what we shared as a group about the negative thoughts we experienced about managing our weight. We all listened with sad hearts to the damaging self-talk we splatter on ourselves.
I will never lose weight.
This is just too hard.
Losing weight takes too much time.
The leader then asked us to switch the statements to positive sayings:
Slow but steady will win the battle.
Starting new habits is hard but healthier.
I am worth it.
That last one startled my soul.
“You are worth it, aren’t you?” she said.
Silence again hung like a damp dirty rag on each person. The hesitation to answer that question said it all.
None of us felt worthy of putting ourselves first in this war for better health.
None of us felt good enough to spend the time, money and effort for new habits.
None us were felt valuable or special enough.
Not enough.
Not good enough.
Not worthy of love.
The heavy shroud of inadequacy pervaded the room. Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we deny what we most need? Flee from Who we want the most – who makes us whole?
I read this last year also on the readers’ survey through this blog. I asked a simple question – what do you struggle with? One of the most frequent answers was your lack of self-worth and belief that God really loves unconditionally.
I know I am a child of God.
I know God loves and accept me as I am.
I have experienced God’s tender touch on my heart and know he lives within me.
But that day last week, those words – You are worth it, aren’t you? – stung like a whip. I knew I didn’t fully believe it – the evidence was in my momentary uncertainty.
Perhaps when we feel vulnerable we do slip back into old bad habits of thinking.
Perhaps when we see the truth, it takes us a moment to catch our breath and grab onto that thread of faith.
Perhaps my initial reaction provided a good wake up call – to listen to my negative thoughts, discard them and not let them dominate my beliefs and behavior.
Time to wake up.
“Time to wake up. Time to let the spiritual alarm clock within my soul ring me into awareness. No more religion set on auto pilot. No more taking the impact of my values for granted. There are people around me I need to pay attention to, people waiting for me to notice them. There are new challenges to discover, new chances to practice what I preach. It is so easy to drift into the comfortable notion that I have learned all I need to be a person of faith, that I have arrived and can settle in to relax with God. Time to shake off the dust of my own privilege. Time to wake up, get up, and be active. Love now, sleep later.”
The Rt. Rev. Steven Charleston, Choctaw
Yes my soul was startled last week – jarred awake with a divine vibration. Time to let go of past false beliefs and throw away the old ways of reacting.
I am a child of God.
I AM a child of God.
I am a CHILD OF GOD.
I am worthy of love
And that is enough.
From now on, only God’s love will startle my soul.
Let’s talk: Why do you think we keep coming back to this same issue? How can we get beyond inadequacy and feeling we are not enough and how can we help others with this recurring hinderance?
The way I’ve learned to battle these lies is spend daily time in God’s Word & in prayer–at least morning and night, see my therapist regularly, journal and then review what i wrote later, and surround myself with friends who love Jesus, believe the best, speak the truth. Whew! It’s a daily battle to battle this negativity!! But so worth the fight!!
God’s word and prayer are the perfect answer! And ones I have used but with busy summer, had slacked off. Thanks for the great reminder. Seeing my spiritual director and journalling also help. your are so right that it is a battle but one that can be won with God’s help! Thanks for commenting
How do we get past those thoughts and feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness? One step: retrain our brains and hearts! Old ways of thinking must be replaced with new, until the new ways become habit. Perhaps we could write on Post-Its some of the positive statements from your blog post, Jean, and scatter them around the house, in the car, in our purses–wherever they will catch our attention and startle our souls! Statements like: Slow but steady will win the battle (against negative thinking). Starting new habits is hard but healthier–for body, mind, AND spirit. I am worth it, because I am a child of God. I know God loves and accept me as I am. I have experienced God’s tender touch on my heart and know he lives within me.
Thank you, Jean, for your honesty, that opens the way for all of us to admit to feelings of inadequacy. Better yet, you set our sights on a better way: to only let God’s love startle our souls!
Nancy i like the thought of retraining. Too often I think we run from these feelings when they are just part of our maturing, our journey and we need to face them. retraining sounds like a doable word. i need a Post-it note for our soul though. LOL. Thanks for adding to the conversation. love your thoughts
Hi Jeanie! Just the term ‘startled my soul’ is a powerful one. Never heard of it before, but when I read it, I knew what you meant. I was reading a celebrity interview this morning, and he was asked if he worries about how he’s perceived. He said if he thought about that all the time, he’d never get anywhere.
Now I know what happened to me. My soul was startled. That really hit home. Just like you at Weight Watchers. it’s time to realize that we are enough, we have a great depository of grace that makes us worthy.
Good for you for going to WW! You are my heroine. I need to address that myself.
Blessings my friend,
Ceil
Hi Ceil, Actually startling my soul was all I could think about when I heard that deafening silence in that room. very powerful moment to realize how deeply rooted this false belief about ourselves is in so many people. Been join to WW for two years now and have lost 65 pounds. not as much this year but keeping it off. Have about 40 to go yet, sigh…
Satan is alive and well and I know I let him in my life too often. One of his greatest lies that we believe is that we are not worthy. thank you for waking me up again to God’s call on my life.
You know I didn’t mention Satan and he certainly does play a part in all this. Good reminder, Clella.
If Jesus thought we were worth dying for, perhaps it’s time for us to wake up and realize how loved we truly are. Wouldn’t this world be a better place if we could squelch the negative talk once and for all, and truly live the lives God meant for us to live?
Such a thought provoking post, Jean. Blessings!
Good point, Martha and one to remember. Maybe that would be a good affirmation to say in times when battling negative self talk. I will have to remember that one.