Where were you ten years ago?
2003.
I took out my journal from that year this morning and travelled back in time.
Work drove me crazy that year. I know the financial burdens, the personnel issues and the ongoing less than happy job satisfaction I identified that year, steered me to my eventual early retirement from that position in 2006.
We remodeled the kitchen. If you ever tore up your house for a major renovation, you know exactly how I felt ten years ago.
My brother-in-law died.
My kids all experienced tensions, decisions and restlessness.
And I answered God’s call to step out of my comfort zone and into new adventures. The first holy invitation opened with the beginning of my journey to become a spiritual director that year. I completed that wonderful, still evolving process in 2006.
My journal records another significant call that year: November 20, 2003.
I had been praying for guidance in the study to be an associate in ministry or what is sometimes called an AiM. An AiM is a recognized lay position within the Lutheran church that assists with a specific ministry.
To be honest I wasn’t sure I wanted to go that route. I would have to apply, get references, study online for three years, pass psychological testing (Don’t laugh. My family told me they would test me and probably commit me permanently to an institution. HA!), and complete a supervised field experience of at least 600 hours. Throughout the process the candidacy committee monitors your progress through interviews, paperwork and approvals of each step.
WHEW! I really didn’t think taking this step was a good idea with everything else going on in my life. I would be absolutely crazy to attempt this direction And who was I to think I was worthy of this type of calling?
But November 20 2003 changed everything. As I drove east towards Bryan, Ohio on State Route 34, just west of the intersection with State Route 576, I chatted with God about all that was going on in my daily madness.
I heard God say, “Yes!”
I didn’t believe I heard that. My imagination? Then I heard it again,
YES.
Ok, Lord. yes to what? I am not sure what you are telling me.
YES.
No details. Just a simple, but resounding YES. What did this mean?
The next few days, I journaled. I talked with others, especially those who knew me and those with spiritual wisdom. My pastor heard my story and encouraged me to move forward. My family supported me.
I prayed. I listened.
Slowly the muddy waters settled. Discernment led me to believe God was saying YES to the call to become an AiM.
Ok, Lord, I am not sure what I am doing. I will take the next step and You better stop me if You don’t want me to do this.
That was ten years ago.
This past Sunday, April 7, St. Peter’s Lutheran Church called me to be an AiM on their staff.
A new door is now opened in my journey with the Lord.
Were the past ten years easy? No.
Was the direction God was leading me clear? Only occasionally.
Did everything happen in my timing? Certainly not when I wanted things to occur, but looking backwards I can tell God was in control.
Rereading those journals, I see God’s hand on my every move, guiding me, creating opportunities out of nothingness, and always being present.
GOD IS ALWAYS calling us! But there are distinctive moments in this call of his, moments which leave a permanent mark on us—moments which we never forget.
Carlo Carretto
Discernment often isn’t clear. Most of the time God just shows us the next step to take and our job is to be faithful and step forward in trust.
One step at a time.
Thank you Lord for this new opportunity. May I be Your servant in this new adventure.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Looking back 10 years ago, what have you learn from God?
Thank you Lyli. I will need lots of wisdom and courage being in a new position and being stretched out of my comfort zone. Do pull out those hold journals. I sometimes read the year before but hadn’t gone back 10 years. I was really amazed what had changed and how much still was the same Blessings on you too.
wow! Sending up prayers right now for safe and blessed two years in Africa. Will you have internet there at all? I would love to hear from you periodically and be willing to pray for your work there. yes yes, God is amazing and so, so good.
Thank Laura. I am sure I will learn and continue to grow being stretched like this. As I have said before: out of the comfort zone and into the Comforter.
Thanks for stopping by my blog and leaving a comment yesterday. Looking back certainly does give a better perspective but I hadn’t reread my journals that far back. WOW sure did bring lots of memories back. I have heard our journey described like a spiral but never a winding knot. I like that image. Thanks for sharing that with me.
Sending up prayers for you Diana. I know when I am experiencing ‘cloudy” days, I imagine I am in God, God as the cloud. That helps me wade through the unknown, thinking as His mystery. It is hard to trust when we just want to know.
Thanks Lisa! It is exciting and a little scary all in one but I guess that is the definition of adventure and being stretched – my word of the year.
Jean, so excited to hear about the new door God has opened for you to encourage others. May God give you great wisdom and courage as you serve.
This post makes me want to pull out my old journals and spent the day visiting with “old me.” I am always surprised by what I find — it’s like visiting a stranger some times. I see how far God has brought me, and I am thankful..
Blessings to you, my sister. 🙂
The Lord brought me right to this message of encouragement! I’m leaving for Africa in less than two weeks for two years. I’ve been struggling with fear of the unknown, wondering if I’m crazy almost everyday! He keeps telling me I’m not. And then he reinforces it by letting me find things to read, like this. Haha! God is so good! Thanks for sharing!
Oh, congratulations to you, Jean! What a blessing you will be to that congregation. I am looking forward to hearing more about your new adventure with God as you journey through.
Stopping by from Simply Helping Him. Isn’t it fascinating to look back and see where God has brought us? I remember in Bible school, one of my professors illustrated the path of God’s call as this winding knot of a road…sometimes even going back to “start” more than once…before we get to the finish line. It’s never a straight line. But there are so many lessons learned along the way. It’s not the end that matters – is the journey and all that God does in our hearts on that journey. Glad I stopped by today. Blessings from Croatia. Rosilind from A Little R & R. http://www.littlerandr.org
Stopping by from TellHisStory. I can identify with the transition you went through 10 years ago. I am in the midst of a similar one myself. Took an early retirement from a job that went from enjoyable to awful to follow a dream God had put inside me. But not until He showed me the proper timing.
I desire absolute clarity on the steps to take, but as you say that’s not always the case. I’m learning though how to discern what is Him and what is not.
Thank you for sharing your experience. To know I’m not the only one that experiences “cloudy days” in seeking to hear Him has encouraged me.
A new calling! May the Lord bless you as you continue to be his light!
Thank you! Yes most of my focus is spiritual formation and leading small groups but as you know other needs also need help. I am helping building communications for the members such as email mailings and getting the church on Facebook and other ideas like that. Occasionally helping the pastor too. This week I am doing the children’s sermon
Thanks Dolly. I am not 100% sure at all what God has led me to but i will trust Him and move forward.
Lovely, Jean. Just lovely! What will your specialized ministry be? Direction?
Dear Jean,
Congratulations! Thank you for being faithful to His call and I am sure you will be a huge blessing…I know you have been one to me, and I haven’t even met you in person 🙂
I love reading your comments and when I see you here I smile, Mia. Thank you for always lifting my spirit.
Thanks De. I am a mixed bag of anticipation, anxiety and deep conviction I am exactly where God wants me right now…
Interesting to look back a decade isn’t it, Clella? I am trusting Him more too as time passes.
I sure am glad we have connected. Blessings to you too.
Dear Jean
I am grateful you heeded that call for your love for Pappa is so beautiful and will spill over to all those you are called to help.
Blessings toyou
Congratulations on the new open door. When you opened your heart and hear the YES, it was only the beginning.
~De
My journey back ten years realizes I have learned to let God be in control and trust Him even more. Details are not important, but the lessons learned are very important. Thanks for helping me take this journey.
Clella
Thank you for sharing this. How very true that discernment is not always clear. But our response is to be one step at a time knowing that our God will unfold the plan – in His time & in His way. I was your neighbor at Soli Deo Gloria & am so glad that I was! Blessings!!