Ok, I am supposed to be grateful, right?
Count those blessings.
Make that list of 1000+ reasons to give thanks. (Thanks Ann Voskamp and your wonderful book, 1000 Gifts)
Work on the spiritual disciple of gratitude.
Embrace Thanksgiving as THEday to share what we are thankful for with the family – the perfect family smiling around the dinner table with halos abounding and hearts full of love.
Yeah, right.
My Thanksgiving expectations: Norman Rockwell.
My reality: Kitchen Nightmare or Lethal Cooking.
To be honest, last Thursday was not THAT bad, but by midmorning, by myself, preparing all the food, I sipped on a mug of self-pity. I wanted to make a huge Thanksgiving meal. My family insists that every year I cook for an army. So I set myself up for this annual why-me-scenario. I do it to myself!
The green bean casserole broke me.
You know the concoction – heavy laden with calories and memories. Green beans, those yummy eat from the can onion rings and cream of mushroom soup. I have tried lighter versions, but for this one day, I am enjoying the real recipe.
So I am by myself, feeling sorry with all the fixing to do, and trying my best to find thanks.
Yep, the weather is good.
Yep, I have healthy family coming over.
Yep, the aroma of turkey fills the house.
Yep… yep… yep…
Why didn’t I feel grateful? What was wrong with me? Was all this listing of things I am thankful for just rote? Habit? Meaningless internal chatter?
I opened two cans of green beans to pour into the dish.
“mmm, maybe I should add one more can. After all Katie said the kids really liked green beans fixed this way.”
Off to the pantry for one more can of green beans.
What a simple ordinary act – nothing special – routine reaching into a cupboard for one more can.
One can.
One moment.
One reality of its meaning of having plenty, of experiencing enough.
My hand trembled as I held that can. My lower lip quivered. My self-pity shattered by this moment stilled by overwhelming gratefulness.
Just think:
I can walk.
I can reach.
I have a pantry full of green beans.
I have a pantry full of food.
I have enough.
Enough.
I am grateful.
Thank You – the only prayer I could murmur in the hallway clutching that can of beans.
Thanksgiving finally began when a plain can of green beans fractured my frozen heart and bathed me with gratitude.
Gratitude is powerful – how has being thankful helped you on your spiritual walk?
You really made me smile tonight. I love your story about feeding so many virtually free. So many of God’s blessing surround us if we just open our eyes and heart to see them. I think my photo shows up next to your comment if you don’t have a photo loaded into disqus. This comment system is good in some ways but frustrating in others. I may not keep it. So you know what I look like and I will image you as a beautiful grey haired lady whose comment made me smile today. Thank you!
Thanks Julie! Hope you had a terrific weekend too.
I understand what you’re saying. Right now (and for the past couple of years) I have had the blessed opportunity to really stock up on green beans (corn & peas, too). Well, the kids shop Mom’s pantry from time to time. And Mom’s (me) pantry has fed a family for a couple of months in time of need (not mine, another). So the green beans story i understand.
I also recall about 3 years ago, it dawned on me that I was feeding a family group of 17-20 and the meal was virtually free. I had done some fantastic bargain, coupon, sale shopping and even got the turkeys (yep, 2 of them) free for the meal. So we really counted our blessings that year.
God is good, isn’t He and sometimes we just need that gentle nudge to bring His goodness to the forefront of our thinking.
Happy Sharefest!
I hear you, SITStah! Isn’t it amazing the things God uses to remind us of how blessed we are? 🙂 Thanks for sharing and have a great weekend!
yep, lots of rain…blessed weekend to you, Jean 🙂
Thank you sweet Karen!
You are so sweet, Johnnie with this comment. It really was a good moment of gratitude for me!
Good idea about tweaking the tradition and I like the gentleness of the word tweak. Thanksgiving has always been a big celebration in my family so I don’t want to lose that but little things could be changed. May Advent be a time of peace and blessing for you too.
HI Dolly. Are you getting tons of rain out your way? Looked like it on the news today. anyway, thanks for leaving a comment. I have had a busy week so am just now getting caught up on the computer. Have a blessed weekend.
Being thankful for a hot shower, not only for one but one every morning – is such a cause for thankfulness. Yes I neglected to say my daughter did bring dessert – I was just so self centered and fully of pity at that moment, I wasn’t even thankful for that. Just too many expectations blinded me. Thanks for commenting, Lynn!
Can of beans and a contrite heart. That is beautiful!
Jeanie, I read this post yesterday on my phone, and it just touched my heart. You are such a blessing to your family and friends. (But I agree with Laura — it’s time to tweak those traditions!)
Oh, Jean, it sounds like your tradition needs some tweaking! It IS so stressful to handle such a big meal all alone. Bless you for finding beauty in the midst of the stress. Praying rest and even more peace of gratitude as we enter Advent.
oh, yes…the fruit of giving thanks…you illustrated so beautifully with your story…Thank you, Jean 🙂 Hugs to you 🙂
I know that feeling…I’ve had it in the hot shower! So grateful! And you know what would make you more grateful next year? Tell everyone to bring something!!! 😀
Hi Michelle. You know I never thought of it being obedient. I have a pretty bad attitude BUT I know pondering my blessings did soften my heart and the eventually break though. I never never will forget that moment in the hallway by the pantry. Thanks for stopping by and commenting!! have a great week
How awesome, Jean! What I love is the fact that you continued to practice obedience. It just took awhile for your heart to catch up. But what a blessing God gave you – and all of us, too, because you obeyed, then shared! Thank you & Hugs to you!! Love, Michelle
Your words are so kind and really made my day. Sure glad we have connected! Thanks for stopping by today.
You know how sometimes blog posts just drop on on you – I knew as soon as this happened last week I had to blog about it. Who would have thought that green beans had that kind of power?
I think you and I posted similar experiences this week. Though I think sometimes my heart is willing but my head just keep yapping and getting in the way. I wish the two of them would sync up more ofter. LOL. No wonder I feel like a split personality at time. Thanks for leaving a comment today, Nancy
Hi Phil, how great to hear from you! God certainly surprised me that day by the pantry. I knew right then I had to write about it too. May you too have a wonder-filled week.
This is my favorite one ever, Jean. I read you regularly but don’t come over to comment all that often. Just know that what you write is read over here on the other coast and that today’s words? EXACTLY what I needed at this moment. Thank you.
On a hard morning, your post has given me a way to refocus. Thank you for your authenticity.
I am all-too-familiar with those moments when I know in my head I’m supposed to be giving thanks, but my heart just isn’t feeling it. And yet, I just restarted my gratitude list. I had stopped because it felt like a homework assignment–empty, as though I were just going through the motions. And I found myself sinking back into discouragement and fear. Sometimes its the simple act of going through the motions, or of reaching for that single can of green beans, that gives our heart the chance to catch up.
I always find it amazing Jean, what moments God chooses to fill our hearts with His presence. Thank you for sharing this moment with us!
Have a Blessed Day my dear friend!