The Spiritual Practice of Beholding
Last week I submerged my soul in silence at my annual spiritual retreat. I have learned that in order to hear God I need to get away at least once a year for a few days at a retreat center for solitude, silence and being with him. My time away and my notes in my journal nourish my spirit for many days afterward.
I am a doer and settling my soul in silence and stillness isn’t easy for me. It often feels like I peel off layers of soiled clothing as I settle into the quiet. I have to hand over my concerns, my worldly frantic to do’s and my agenda into God’s hands. I attempt to embrace an attitude of open expectancy.
During our time of lectio divina at the retreat, the leader slowly read three times the story of Jesus’s transfiguration. I just love Peter – his enthusiasm, his direct honesty and his determined desire to do. Peter sees Jesus along with Moses and Elijah and what does he want to do – build a shelter for them. He is doing instead of embracing this sacred instance that he is witnessing. What a moment to behold.
Seeing myself in Peter became my invitation at retreat to follow the spiritual practice of beholding. Of simply gazing at God in silence. Of deep listening. Of watching and pondering my encounter with him.
To behold is to look at something deeply. To “hold” it carefully and deliberately in our attention. It involves stopping, being still, really taking the time to see something as it is.
I wrote about the practice of beholding a few years ago after watching my daughter lovingly watched her newborn daughter.
The practice of beholding God surrounded and steered my retreat.
And I failed often throughout the weekend.
My mind wandered.
I cheated and checked my emails.
I escaped into books.
But I kept coming back.
Beholding slowly transforms us. Our inner mirror is cleansed to reflect God. We become what we gaze upon.
The one who sat on the throne said, “Behold, I make all things new.”
Revelation 21:5a
Can I brag about accomplishments at this retreat? No
Can I tell you of new wisdom? No
Can I boast of becoming a spiritual giant? No
I simply spent time with God.
I beheld his smile, his love, his presence.
I gazed at God and felt his loving gaze in return.
And I was changed.
What spiritual practice has nourished you lately?
I popped over because of your title, Behold is my word for this year. It’s definitely the ONE He picked for me. I reminded Him in prayer yesterday that I need to spend more of my time Beholding Him and His plan, His truth, His heart so that I don’t see the other things that steal the joy He has planted.
I am excited you were able to get away and just spend time with God. Sometimes, all we need is the get away so that He can rewire our hearts so that we can look in the right direction.
Blessings!
Dawn
Hi Dawn,I love that your word this year is behold. My word is stillness and on retreat I felt when I was practicing beholding, the deepening of stillness too. Some how those two are related. Something to think about while you explore behold. Going on retreat is such a life giving practice!! Thanks for stopping by. Blessings to you too
Jean,
You just expressed the truth of 2 Cor. 3:18 in your words: “Beholding slowly transforms us. Our inner mirror is cleansed to reflect God. We become what we gaze upon.”….it is such a daily battle to stop, slow and behold God…and when I do, it is life changing 🙂 SO glad you got to get away, my friend.
It is a daily battle and one that came back quickly once I was home. I am trying to spend more quiet time in the mornings and hope to continue that. The retreat was wonderful on so many levels. Hope all is well with you, Dolly.
This post has convinced me to spend even more quiet time with God, simply beholding Him, simply being in His presence. It is difficult for me, too, to NOT do during the day, but just being has it’s great rewards. Glad your retreat changed and refreshed you, Jean! Blessings!
That retreat was refreshing and powerful for me. Will feed me for quite awhile. Isn’t God good?
I, too, am a doer; even my quiet times are filled with doing: Bible study, meditation- journaling, scripture memorization or review, devotional reading, praying. But to behold slowly and deeply, except as I journal, has not been part of my devotions. God certainly deserves some undivided attention, just basking in his presence!
I know I still have lots of learn and practice with beholding but when I do focus, it is a powerful experience. I just get fidgety….and the mind monkeys….
But I have a feeling God smiles on you, Jean, as you persevere to experience him more fully!
you are sweet, Nancy and YOU make me smile.