“All” is my word of the year.
One way I companion my word each year is to find a sign to put near my home altar using the selected word. I found a great sign last year for its word “Go” at our nearby Hobby Lobby. “Let’s Go” empowered me every morning.
So I have been on the hunt for a new sign this year and finally once again in Hobby Lobby found one sign using this year’s word: “All of me loves all of you.”
Now I know this expression was to be between two lovers, but I adopted it as my prayer. “Lord, help all of me love all of you.”
Or at least that was my original intention for using the sign. God had other plans.
A few weeks ago, I ventured to the center about 90 minutes from my home for a silent retreat. Often I bring a few items from my home altar with me to help create a sacred atmosphere in the room for prayer and time with God. I brought my “All of me loves all of you” sign.
I entered the silence wondering how I could love God more. What more could I do? What should I be? My head knew I didn’t “earn” God’s love and that I was a cherished child of God, but my ego still believed I had to work, strive, prove myself in order to fully love God. I had to do this.
Henri Nouwen, my mentor and lamplighter, wrote words that unraveled me during the retreat. His message mirrored what I was experiencing.
“For most of my life I have struggled to find God, to know God, to love God. I have tried hard to follow the guidelines of the spiritual life—pray always, work for others, read the Scriptures—and to avoid the many temptations to dissipate myself. I have failed many times but always tried again, even when I was close to despair.
Now I wonder whether I have sufficiently realized that during all this time God has been trying to find me, to know me, and to love me. The question is not “How am I to find God?” but “How am I to let myself be found by him?” The question is not “How am I to know God?” but “How am I to let myself be known by God?” And, finally, the question is not “How am I to love God?” but “How am I to let myself be loved by God?” God is looking into the distance for me, trying to find me, and longing to bring me home.”
The entire multiday retreat I wrestled with the question: “How am I to let myself be loved by God?” My pride and independence entangled my heart and only God could untie and free me. Finally on the last day I heard God say to me,
“All of me (God) loves all of you.”
I had the word of year sign all wrong. Love didn’t start with me; love starts with God. Because God loves me first, I can love God. Because God loves me, love permeates every cell of my being. Because God loves me, I am already loved, cherished, and accepted. Because God loves me, I love others. God starts and sustains this surrender into his immense love – All of God loves all of you, me, all.
The sign still sits on my home altar where I see it every morning during devotions. Someday God’s transforming love will be complete within me and I will fully say back to him with all my heart, mind and soul the words he says every day to me: All of me loves all of you.
May it be so for all of us.
What lessons have you learned about God lately?
Oh Jean, this is so powerful for me. Due to a dysfunctional family as a child, abuse as a young adult and issues with shame, I am always trying to “love God more”, perhaps in a way to show I am worthy of love. But at the same time never really feeling God loved me and keeping Him at arm’s length.
These words have truly pierced my heart. I’m not sure how to fully embrace “All of me (God) Loves all of you (Donna), but I want to move in that direction. Thank you so much for your message here.
Oh Donna. I am glad this impacted your spirit like it did mine. Such a hard lesson for our hearts to relearn. I find sitting quietly with the Lord and hearing this over and over again, slowly allows it to seep into my soul. Then two days later I don;’t believe it again, Sigh! But I will come again and again to the feet of my Lord and just be in his light for healing and love. Will pray you also will experience his unconditional amazing love!!
What a beautiful testimony, Jean, “All of me (God) loves all of you.”
It was an amazing lesson too.
What a perfect sign you found, Jean! And whoa, that insight from you and Henri unravels me as well. We don’t often turn it around like this. But allowing God to know us and love us is primary. First things first! Thanks for linking up with us!
When I first found the sign, Lisa, I just “settled” for it since I couldn’t find anything else. Only God knew what lesson it held for me! That quote still lingers with me!
That Nouwen quote! Thank you for sharing it as a reminder that God is the initiator and prime Actor in the dance of salvation AND sanctification!
Isn’t t that quote powerful? I know it definitely opened my heart!
What a delightful epiphany, Jean–“All of God loves all of you, me, all.” And with God there’s no hesitation or qualifications! Hallelujah! My own epiphany is related to God’s love: his forgiveness. I learned recently that scripture includes 66 verses about his merciful attitude to forgive and forget our sins. Reassurance aplenty of his compassion and grace!
Interesting about forgiveness. another powerful lesson and one we need to keep learning. Don’t we have a wonderful God?
All is such an interesting choice for your WOTY.
I can only imagine the many lessons that God has in store for you in 2022.
I am excited too. I wasn’t sure when I started with this word but so far – WOW!
What a powerful reflection you’ve written here, Jean. Yes, we can love because God loved us first. We can give our all because He has done that first. Let us take time to thank God for His wonderful gifts He’s given to all of His undeserving children.
Blessings!
It was a powerful experience and revelation. I still smile and feel loved when I see that sign.
Thank you jean…
The sign you have as you said..was meant for lovers…God is Love…you are lovers…
As the song goes…”im my beloveds and He is mine..His banner over me is love”
Hes been teaching me that He is mine and no other…we do not share our husbands ..everyone has to find their own…
Good point about the Lovers image. Thanks, Pat!