New Year Anxiety or Abundance?

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A year ago I was scared.Last year mark the end of a decade for me that I thoroughly enjoyed. I loved telling people if I had know how good the 50s were going to be I would have rushed to them sooner. I grew as a writer and spiritually walked closer to God. My kids evolved into wonderful adults seeking their own adventures. My hubby and I both retired and open new fulfilling chapters in life.  Would the 60s be as good?I was scared.But looking back, this last year has not been bad at all. I accomplished several items from my bucket list (a hot air balloon ride and finishing my Associate in Ministry requirement for the Lutheran church). Tried new recipes and saw new places. And learned a valuable lesson when a dream was dashed against the rocks that putting the broken pieces in God’s hands leads to healing.Maybe that is one reason I like the start of the new year.  The energy and excitement of fresh new chapter in life.  The anticipation, though with some anxiety, of the blessings ahead.  … [Read more...]

New Year – Looking Back and Looking Forward

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January is the month of “Janus.” Janus was the Roman god of gates and doorways, depicted with two faces looking in opposite directions – a good image of this first month of the year.  One face looks back on the year gone and the other looks forward to the new and uncertain one ahead. January is a reflective month – an opportunity to look back at the year behind us – letting go of our regrets and celebrating our joys, then we look forward also into the coming months. Many of us make well-meaning resolutions and hope we can achieve at least some of them.January is a transition time. – the liminal space between two years.  William Bridges wrote a wonderful and interesting book about transitions, Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changesand The Way of Transition. Transition is a the process of letting go of the way things used to be and then taking hold of the way they subsequently become. One of his concepts I appreciated learning was the three phases of change/transitions:EndingThe … [Read more...]

My Goals but God’s Determination – Lectio Divina

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"In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps."
Proverbs 16:9The Lord determines his steps.I reviewed 2010, Lord, reflecting on my joys, my challenges, and my failures.I asked Your help in planning ahead – what to work on.  How to grow.  What to try in 2011.I created the list, hopefully with Your help.It is complete.Except for one final action.I lift up the coming year into Your hands, Lord.My hopes.My goals.My dreams.I plan, strategize, prepare, and try my best to arrange the future to Your… No, I will be honest and say this openly. I try my best to control the future to MY liking. My heart hesitates to fully release 2011 to You.It is hard, Lord to fully trust You. I know I should, but my ego still thinks it holds the power to influence the future. Deep down, I think I have the strength to be in charge. Part of me knows the truth, yet I cling to human power instead of fully letting go of my life to divine determination. My deepest desire is not to be … [Read more...]

My Favorite Year End Ritual

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My favorite year-end ritual begins today. The next two days I will curl up in my overstuffed chair and reread my 2010 journal. I call it “Harvesting my Journal” and I have enjoyed this reflective journey every year for at least the past 15 years.With a highlighter and my favorite pen in hand, what do I look for?·      Cherished moments.·      Unexpected joys and obstacles ·      Reoccurring thoughts or stubborn won’t go away God nudges·      Bible verses that guided me or still sing to me even if I don’t know why·      Times I felt God’s presence and times I walk in lonely darkness·      Lessons I learned and lessons that will take a life time to fully comprehend·      Answered prayers and dreams that still bubbled with life and passionI highlight and summarize on the December 31st entry.On January 1st, you will find me buried in my journal once again, praying, and listening to God about the upcoming year. I tried my best to record what I feel is His hopes, dreams, goals for me the … [Read more...]

Christmas Year-End Clutter – Sorted, Ordered and Transported

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The living floor covered with ripped and shredded wrapping. Boxes tilting precariously, leaning to the right. Family still lounging in pajamas playing with their presents.Ah, Christmas morn.But slowly that day or the next, the Christmas clutter gets picked up and the front room returns to normal. Tired of leftovers, even the refrigerator receives a good cleaning.Then I begin eyeing the Christmas décor. I wonder what the current protocol is on how long to leave up all the decorations? I know I like to have most of it put away by end of the year or it too become clutter.I take the stack of Christmas cards and reread them one more time. The pile is moved by my chair in my office where I pray, read my morning devotions, and spend time with God. I select a card each day, praying for that person.    What other year-end clutter needs to be sorted, ordered, and transported out of my life?·      Like clothes that don’t fit and never will, is it time to let go of some hopes and dreams that seem … [Read more...]

The Light Shines in the Darkness – Lectio Divina

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In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. John 1: 1-5The light shines in the darknessOnce again, Lord, you came.In the shimmering candlelight of midnight services, I felt your gentle hug as You wrapped your arms around me.What had been dark, now shone with Your love and presence.You never forgot us.You never abandoned us.You kept your promisesYou came.But in reality You never left in the first place, did You?You were there at the beginning.You were there when sin first began and continued through all of usYou were there throughout the scriptures.You were there in the stable.You were there walking on the seaYou were there on the cross.You were there on the road to Emmaus.You were there at candlelight … [Read more...]