Do you practice self-compassion? I value self-care. I am learning soul-care. But I never really considered the importance of self-compassion before. Lately my inner critic has been very mouthy. “I should have known better.” “Here I go again. When will I ever learn”? The world, the pandemic, and the politics wear me down. The devil knows me too well – “let’s heap on the discouragement, that will trip Jeanie up!” God knows me even better. Grace from God isn’t just for others, but for our souls too. I read this definition from Positive Psychology: Self-compassion is a practice of goodwill, not good feelings… With self-compassion we mindfully accept that the moment is painful, and embrace ourselves with kindness and care in response, remembering that imperfection is part of the shared human experience. (Neff, 2019)“Self-kindness is about showing kindness and understanding toward ourselves when we fail at something, or when we are hurt (Neff, 2003a). Rather than being … [Read more...]
Questioning my Optimism
Optimism. I grew up in a serious household, with serious parents, and serious expectations. My parents were not pessimists or realists, but they definitely didn’t practice optimism. They were just focused, hard-working, deliberate people. So most of my adult life I have dealt with my internal negative chatter and learned the skills of optimism. Practice. Practice. Practice. I read books and research about optimism. Whenever I listed my values, optimism ranked high. I even gave talks to others about optimism. I smugly wore the new label of “Optimist” on my heart. Yep I was proud of this new attitude that served me well into my second half of life. You know what they say about pride. First pride, then the crash—the bigger the ego, the harder the fall.Proverbs 16:18 The Message New Perspective about Optimism. God continues to teach and form us. I am thankful for that truth, but I was surprised at this spiritual lesson. Readers of this blog … [Read more...]
Word of the Year Reversal
“All” is my word of the year. One way I companion my word each year is to find a sign to put near my home altar using the selected word. I found a great sign last year for its word “Go” at our nearby Hobby Lobby. “Let’s Go” empowered me every morning. So I have been on the hunt for a new sign this year and finally once again in Hobby Lobby found one sign using this year’s word: “All of me loves all of you.” Now I know this expression was to be between two lovers, but I adopted it as my prayer. “Lord, help all of me love all of you.” Or at least that was my original intention for using the sign. God had other plans. A few weeks ago, I ventured to the center about 90 minutes from my home for a silent retreat. Often I bring a few items from my home altar with me to help create a sacred atmosphere in the room for prayer and time with God. I brought my “All of me loves all of you” sign. I entered the silence wondering how I could love God more. What more could … [Read more...]
Posture of Love
Stand up straight. Don’t slouch. I heard this a lot growing up and perhaps you did too as our moms encouraged good posture for our physical health. What about our spiritual posture? This is Holy Week for those of us in the Christian church. As I read and reread the scriptures focused on the last week of Jesus’ life, his suffering, his death, and his glorious resurrection, I am drawn to Jesus’ posture of love. The Lord nudges me “Watch Jesus.” Posture is the position in which we hold our bodies while standing, sitting, or lying down. Healthy posture is the correct alignment of body parts. Our everyday movements and activities can affect this alignment and put stress on joints and muscles, sometimes resulting in pain and potentially permanent damage if left unchecked over time. Posture can also be defined as how we live. Our posture toward politics, for example. Whether we lean conservative or progressive. Our posture shows our attitude or beliefs. Watch … [Read more...]
Share Four Somethings – April 2022
Share Four Somethings is a new regular blog post I began this year modeling after several of my blogger friends who publish bits of wisdom in four categories. I love this practice as it collects moments for reflection and growth. These “somethings” become markers in our spiritual journey. With so much pivoting and uncertainty in our lives right now, being grounded in a simple practice like this guides my way. I listened to my heart and to God and narrowed down my four categories and to see what they will teach me this year. Something WiseSomething WonderfulSomething WhisperedSomething Whimsical Each one reminds me to pay attention to these qualities in my life as gifts from God. I am learning that whimsical is the hardest one for me to capture and one that need the most coaxing to appear. Something Wise Ubuntu describes an African saying: “I am a person through other people. My humanity is tied to yours.” Archbishop Desmond Tutu explained it this way: … [Read more...]
Worthy Wisdom Words
Read any good wisdom words lately? As mentioned last week I recently attended a silent retreat. I listened deeply to God but also found thoughtful guidance from the written words from other “lamplighters.” I thought I would share some of these quotes with you today hoping they bring light to your spiritual journey too. I know these words opened my heart to God’s love and shaping. Henri Nouwen continues to profoundly impact me this year. I prayed and pondered and journaled these words especially last week. How am I to let myself be loved by God? WOW! “For most of my life I have struggled to find God, to know God, to love God. I have tried hard to follow the guidelines of the spiritual life—pray always, work for others, read the Scriptures—and to avoid the many temptations to dissipate myself. I have failed many times but always tried again, even when I was close to despair.“Now I wonder whether I have sufficiently realized that during all this time God has been trying to find … [Read more...]
5 W’s of Preplanning for a Silent Retreat
Attending a silent retreat is an opportunity to slow down and be with God. I find too often I rush into this time away dragging the world's craziness and noise with me. I am learning to pause for planning for a retreat ahead of time – even if just briefly to enter the silence with more intention and depth. As you read this blog post today, I have just returned from a silent retreat. For more info, get the book I wrote about retreats - you can check it out in the blog's side column. I thought it may be useful to share with you 5 W’s to consider before going on a retreat. WhatWhereWhenWhyWhat to bring and what to ask What is a Retreat? A retreat is simply a time away with God. A break from routine. Getting out of your normal rut and finding a quiet interlude and place to slow down with God. You create space in your calendar, your surroundings, and in your heart for God. Jesus frequently took the time for prayer with his father. Jesus models for us this powerful spiritual … [Read more...]
Lamplighters
I heard the term Lamplighters from wisdom teacher mystic Cynthia Bourgeault who described the spiritual teachers in her life – both ancient and contemporary – as lamplighters, those lighting the way for her path. I love this word and have learned like electric wires bringing light into my soul, I too have lamplighters, even a few high-tension ones that boost my spirit beyond the ordinary. Highly charged lamplighters for me are Henri Nouwen, Teresa of Avilla, and Barbara Brown Taylor. In 2003 in my first class to become a spiritual director, they encouraged us to choose (or did that person choose us?) one person to “walk” with for the next three years. We would read about that person, their story, and their spiritual journey. How did faith shape their life? How did they discern which way to go? What worked and what didn’t? We read what others wrote about that person and if they left writings, dug deep into their words. We presented, discussed, and wrote reflection … [Read more...]