“Stretch” is my word for the year. After prayerfully discovering that somewhat frightening word, I am finding its thread though my days. But I have also found a word for my life. I call it my core word, one that describes a basic essence of my being. Nurture.    “Nurture” bubbles up from my soul. Core words describe a movement, an identity, and something deep within our DNA that drives all of our passions and needs. We spend a lifetime searching for these core words and it is an adventure to explore and discover them. In 2009 I finally was able to put a label a deep part of my center, where God’s fingerprints first formed my spirit: nurture. As a young child I knew I wanted to be a writer. As a daughter of a physician, I was often asked, “Do you want to be nurse when you grow up?” “No!” I would emphatically say with a stomp of my foot. When I was 16, I heard God clearly calling me to be a nurse and I have never regretted following that vocation. I buried my first call to … [Read more...]

Regrets?  Do you have regrets? A friend of mine a few years back worked in admissions in a nursing home. One day he admitted a frail, elderly lady in a wheelchair. The lady looked him right in the eye and said to him, “Don’t wake up one day and be like me. Too old now to do what I really wanted to do. Time moves so quickly. Do what you deeply want now.” Her words struck him and he knew right away what to do. Strange as it may sound he wanted to change his first name legally. After that momentous conversation with this lady, he made the appointment with his lawyer to begin the process. He did change his name and never regretted taking this action. “The Top Five Regrets of the Dying” published last year by AARPcaught my eye recently. What were those regrets? 1.  I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. This was the number one regret of all. At the end of life, people reflect about dreams they wished they had tried to … [Read more...]

  Where were you ten years ago? 2003. I took out my journal from that year this morning and travelled back in time. Work drove me crazy that year. I know the financial burdens, the personnel issues and the ongoing less than happy job satisfaction I identified that year, steered me to my eventual early retirement from that position in 2006. We remodeled the kitchen. If you ever tore up your house for a major renovation, you know exactly how I felt ten years ago. My brother-in-law died. My kids all experienced tensions, decisions and restlessness. And I answered God’s call to step out of my comfort zone and into new adventures. The first holy invitation opened with the beginning of my journey to become a spiritual director that year. I completed that wonderful, still evolving process in 2006. My journal records another significant call that year: November 20, 2003. I had been praying for guidance in the study to be an associate in ministry or what is … [Read more...]

  Inversion -  The act of reversing,  turning inside out  or upside down. Inversion - what has happened to my belief about my independence and how I perceive interruptions. Independence Inversion Most of my life when asked to identify my strengths, one answer I would give with a firm nod of my head is my independence. My parents died when I was young. My older brothers were absent for many reasons. My independence brought me leadership opportunities, chances to learn, and affirmation from others.  I could do anything I put my mind to. I was proud to be independent. As my spiritual journey continued and my chronological path led to a little more wisdom, I now see my independence as an obstacle to God. I think I need to be in control. Thank you, Lord, but I can handle this one on my own.  I’ll get back to You later when I need You.  My trait of independence once flaunted and trotted about in all its glory, now feels heavy, weighing me down and pulling … [Read more...]