I desperately need my annual spiritual retreat. I shared a post here on Healthy Spirituality in early March about getting ready to go on a silent retreat. I craved the time away with God. With joy, I anticipated the silence. I diligently prepared, prayed, and planned. Things don't always turn out like we want or need, do they? Need I say more than one word: Covid. Retreat canceled. Actually, my retreat was one of the first things to be scratched on my filled calendar and came as a shock. Looking back its deletion was the first domino of a string of tumbling that continues to fall. Creating My Own Retreat I have retreated at home in the past (see this blog post for some ideas) but getting away to a quiet area offers more depth for me. I am a spiritual director and have several directees creating their own retreats. One in a cabin he owns in a woods. Another at home. They inspire me. I called the retreat center and found out while they were not hosting formal … [Read more...]
What Do You Need to Let Go?
To let go is hard. I tend to cling to what I know, stay in the rut of self-pity too long and dwell in the past rather than moving forward, even when the healing has begun. I admit this. I am beginning to recognize this tendency quicker than I used to, and I am learning to let go. I love Emily P. Freeman's podcast, The Next Right Thing. A few weeks ago, she challenged us to "Leave It Behind." Well worth your time to listen to her wise words. Emily first discussed names we were and are called and continue to call ourselves. Do you have a nickname? What did your parents call you? Your friends? Your adversaries? I still hear a collection of monikers echoing in my heart: Jean Anne, Ammie, Jeanie, Indian Fatso (from 6th grade - ugh!) J, and Beanie. My weight watcher friends now call me Lean Jean – I like that one. ( : Emily shares: "Your life is a story already happening, and you bring every name with you wherever you go. Like … [Read more...]
Our Invitation to be ROYAL
Are you royal? But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s own people, in order that you may proclaim the mighty acts of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. 1 Peter 2: 9 I helped to present a program last week about filling our wells as a writer and used the acronym of ROYAL. Not surprising the writers loved it and added more concepts to each of the letters. Is Your Well Full or Empty or Someplace in Between? What is the level of your well? That place deep inside you where you find peace, strength, wisdom? That reserve that keeps you going? Are you burned out? Is Covid draining your soul? Is the uncertainty of this time we are living in depleting your soul? Good news: God doesn’t burn out. Exhaustion, burnout, and depression are not signs that you are doing God’s will. God is gentle and loving. God desires to give you a deep sense of safety in God’s love. Once you have allowed yourself to … [Read more...]
Seeing our Time in Kairos Time
Ever hear of Kairos time? I heard this term used in a new way a couple of weeks ago so began to explore its history and meaning. I am starting to use two ways to look upon this strange uncertain time we are living in and am finding hope and growth in these moments. The word Kairos comes from ancient Greek and means right, critical or opportune moment. The ancient Greeks saw time in two formats: Chronos meaning chronological time (and the way we usually view time in our culture as in minutes and seconds) and Kairos or appointed moment or due season. We ask in Chronos time: What time is it? But the question: what is this time for? carries the meaning of Kairos. What is the significance of this time? Chronos is quantity; Kairos is quality. Chronos is man's way of arranging time, to organize, and attempt to control. Kairos is God's time – in his hands, creative, loving, inviting and shaping. This time we are living in right now – in a time of pandemic and upheaval - … [Read more...]
Who is winning? Fear or Anticipation?
Who is winning? Fear or anticipation? I have wrestled with both of these emotions while in the present strange and uneasy moments of history we are living in. My head and heart push the panic button easily in this environment spinning out of control on the roller coaster of dealing with so many unknowns, the cancellation of multiple long-awaited life events, and the likelihood of more interruptions looming in the near future. Uncertainty amplifies fear. Fear saps the joy and energy from anticipation. So much of this pandemic has been dealing with naming and tackling various emotions and with God's help, growing stronger and wiser with each lesson. Looking forward to things is half the pleasure of them. Lucy Maud Montgomery I am battling with fear trying to win over the anticipation of good things to come. This morning I realized the struggle was not fear or anticipation, but the solution was fear and anticipation. Not either/or, but both/and. In … [Read more...]
Mentor Texts
Ever hear of mentor texts? I hadn't until recently though I have learned the term has been used for quite a while in English classes. Obviously, I haven't been as student for a while. Ha! I love when a word or phrase rings in your heart, then you see and hear it everywhere. Mentor texts popped up all over and as it turned out, I have been doing this practice and never realized it. What is a Mentor Text? A mentor text is a book that a teacher or student reads and rereads many times. A writer collects certain forms of writing that resonates with their style and slowly finds their own voice in writing using mentor texts as models. A reader mirrors their mentor until they find their true self in that reflection. I copy a certain response, thought, behavior that best illustrates how I deeply want to live and write. I study phrases, primary practices, and words that the mentor exhales and I inhale their wisdom to merge with my unique DNA. As a writer, new … [Read more...]
Lamenting in this Time of Grief
Lamenting. This is a word we don't use much anymore but it is a spiritual practice that arises in a time of grief. Right now, I am overwhelming with loss, sadness, and to be honest, heartache. I am lamenting. I am a number three on the Enneagram so I have much difficulty in naming my emotions. I want to keep up my image of an optimist, in charge Christian. I hold onto the smiling mask to my face so you don't see my weakness. I don't want to bother you with my burdens. But today I will confess I am lamenting. I am grieving. I am crushed with the weight of discouragement and depression. I am not going to list here all the upheaval that I am sure all of us have faced the past few months. You know them. On top of our collective experience, each of us also feels raw from personal disappointments, difficult decisions, and unknown discernment of our next steps. We didn't choose or desire these troubling times. Not your normal hope and uplifting inspiration you usually find here at … [Read more...]
The Spiritual Practice of Being Curious
Are you curious? Periodically I reread my journal entries and this morning read this line from my yearly goals written on January 2, 2020: "I am curious and creative – this gives me a sense of hope, excitement, and energy. I want to expand my imagination, resist mindless busyness and unproductive procrastination and live being curious, not furious." Just think – these words were written pre-pandemic. We didn't know the word Covid 19. "Shelter-in-place" was an activity in my old health department job. Social distancing sounded wonderful to introverts. Kids were in school with plans for graduation and prom. My hubby and I planned some wonderful and huge vacations in the spring and summer. We had no idea what was coming. One goal I have been working on so far in 2020 is reading more and one topic I been digging into is creativity. Yes, that was part of my ambition last January but I was missing a characteristic too. What happen to be being more curious? Yet during this … [Read more...]