Letting go and surrendering to God is difficult, especially for people like me who have a strong urge to remain in control. Not only do I have control issues, but also throughout my life I have leaned heavily and even been proud of my independence.“No I don’t need any help.”“I can do it myself.” “I can do it all.”One prayer practice that has helped me yield my ego to God is using my imagination:  I place into God’s hands whatever circumstance is troubling me. I give Him my concerns and fears. I visualize placing those I pray for into His loving care.Not that this isn’t always easy. I reach out with shaking hands, open them slowly, and, to be honest, with great hesitation, let go. And not only once, but over and over again, giving God everything in prayer.Hard lesson to learn.But the other day, God stretched me even further.I heard Him whisper, “Empty your pockets.”Like watching a movie, I reached into my pants pockets, turning them inside out and spilling the hidden contents – long ago … [Read more...]

Gather around for a great story today. Here is one of my favorite stories told by Henri Nouwen:“The Flying Rodleighs are trapeze artists who perform in the German circus Simoneit-Barum. When the circus came to Freiburg two years ago, my friends Franz and Reny invited me and my father to see the show. I will never forget how enraptured I became when I first saw the Rodleighs move through the air, flying and catching as elegant dancers.The next day, I returned to the circus to see them again and introduced myself to them as one of their great fans. They invited me to attend their practice sessions, gave me free tickets, asked me to dinner, and suggested I travel with them for a week in the near future. I did, and we became good friends."One day, I was sitting with Rodleigh, the leader of the troupe, in his caravan, talking about flying. He said, 'As a flyer, I must have complete trust in my catcher. The public might think that I am the great star of the trapeze, but the real star is Joe, … [Read more...]

The road ahead of me disappears into a khaki cloud of dust. With dry weather, the harvest season in Ohio creates impervious dust storms that swallowed cars before spitting them out on the other side covered with a film of dirt.Yet this dusty blessing feeds us.With ongoing remodeling in my house, no flat surface is spared a layer of white powder from the dry walling. Every time I think I have it cleaned, I spy another surface coated. I am frustrated during a remodeling process that is at first destructive before it can be constructive.Yet this dusty blessing will renovate and refresh my home.Last January my son faced huge heartbreak when he found out his last step into the church ministry was postponed. Instead of beginning the call process last February, he had to wait till this September. God took his situation, full of unfairness, anger, and misunderstanding, and opened an opportunity for him to work at the churchwide headquarters of our denomination, networking with people he would … [Read more...]

God has quite a sense of humor. I had been yapping at God all morning. How come I don’t understand Your ways? What is my next step? Why can’t I hear You?  Why do You make everything so complex and difficult? I need an operating manual for life, Lord!Then I saw the answer – a simple, clear response - while I filled my tank up with gas:1.     Know the payment plan – God has already paid the price with His Son, Jesus. My heart melted as I realized once again the cost of His sacrifice in light of my shameful, minor whining and complaints. Daily, even moment-by-moment – I offer my heart up to the Lord with gratitude for His gifts, grace, and forgiveness.2.     Follow instructions. My job is just to follow His instructions. I am reminded about the story of Joshua and the walls of Jericho. God commanded Joshua, not to tear the wall down – that was His job. Joshua’s job was just to obey God’s simple instruction to march around the walls each day.  My job is to listen to God and follow His … [Read more...]

“The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.”  Alvin TofflerThe quote above challenged my thinking this week.Change is occurring at a faster pace all the time. We are called upon to adapt, let go, and learn new technologies, systems, and patterns. I try to grasp a moment of time, but reality slips from my hand as the spinning disorients my thinking and steals my breath.I don’t know about the rest of you, but sometimes I just want to dig in my feet and say, “NO MORE!!” I slam on the breaks and my shifting gears grind to a stop.I suffer from change fatigue.  Sigh.What frightens me is the study I read once that discovered one of the most common characteristics of people who lived to be 100 was their adaptability.  Do you think resisting change is a cause of death?  If not, that form of stubbornness probably leads to a miserable life.The reality is that the foundation of life is metamorphosis or change. … [Read more...]

Ahhh, back to school time.  Remember being in kindergarten? My biggest memory of that grade is being happy and whistling while I played in the large sunny room.   “There is no whistling in school, Jean Anne,” the teacher scolded.  But I was happy…..I hold good memories in my heart of my own kids first day of school entering kindergarten. New backpack, shiny shoes and smiles from ear to ear.  I never had a shy child who wouldn’t let go or one who cried.  Perhaps since their dad was the principal and never far away helped to make this new experience seem less scary.  (They cried later when they were older though and in trouble. You can’t get away with anything when Daddy is the boss, but that is another topic for a future post. LOL) Kindergarten – the word comes from Germany and means kinder – the plural for kind or child and the word for garden.  In a child’s garden – what a delightful name for this early step away from home and into the terrifying, unknown world.I think all of us need … [Read more...]

Our hot tub disappeared. My perennials conquered that corner of the garden and swallowed up the path leading to our spa. I think some thinning out of my garden is long past due. I have some friends who want starts from my backyard, so it’s time to share some flowers.I love books and books pack my shelves. We are remodeling all of our bedrooms and I am moving my office into a smaller room. One less bookshelf mandates fewer books. Time for thinning out those that I haven’t or don’t think will use. My local library that sells used books to support the Friends of the Library projects will soon have a large donation from me.My flowers are beautiful and my books are rich resources, but both have strayed from their boundaries. Time to thin them out and pass them on.Over the past month I have caught myself overflowing with negative self-talk. Useless, self-defeating habits moved in to push out my exercise routine and eating healthier. The noise of a busy day dominates my quiet time with God.  … [Read more...]

How have you changed over your lifetime?  Do you see people differently? Accept them more openly? See God with new eyes?People who study human development described how we grow and change in different terminology, but I read a new description last week that intrigued me.Increasing Embrace.Psychologist Susanne Cook-Greuter  describes the maturing process in terms of levels of human development with the words: "increasing embrace."  As we evolve we become more inclusive, able to accept greater differences in those with others.As we develop, our level of tolerance of other peoples’ mistakes, peculiarities, and values supposedly increase. A maturing human gives up old beliefs and automatic attitudes of the mind and heart. We let go of the old self and take on new openness.Not only do we accept others with more tolerance, but ourselves also.Food for thought, isn’t it?I would like to think I am more tolerant and loving of others and myself now than previously. I hope I am a growing person … [Read more...]