I will put my instructions within them and engrave them on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people. Jeremiah 31: 33 (CEB) Will it hurt, Lord? When you engrave my heart? Engraving implies a deep insertion of your word. Heart surgery is always serious and risky. I will be vulnerable. I will be transformed. To engrave means to carve into a hard object. Forgive my closed heart. Soften my dense inner world. Chisel my false casing and scrape off the dead shell covering my spirit. May I be more like soften clay in an Artist hand than concrete. I hear your soothing promise to be my God. My heart melts at the invitation to be your people. When I turn to you, my fear is gone. There is comfort and peace within your promise. Pour your wisdom and instruction within me, Lord. I stand before you, Great Engraver – open to receive and unmasked in your presence. … [Read more...]
Trusting God During Transitions
Transitions. Changes. Crossroads. All times that can be challenging and full of emotions – joy, sadness, fear and confusion. “I guess all endings hurt a little even when you need them” – words of wisdom I heard last week from one of my daughters as she changes jobs. Good insight. We all go through changes and life shifts often facing them with faith and fear and probably some self-doubt. We chose a direction, then wonder if we made the best decision. We step out… no, we often leap into the unknown, not 100% sure where we will land. Williams Bridges wrote a classic book on this concept called Transitions. He writes there are three stages to every change: Ending – every transition begin with the ending. Of course there is sadness, loss, letting go. Allow yourself time to grieve. The Neutral Zone – that confusing muddle of the middle, in-between time where we feel disconnected and not belonging anyplace. We often feel lost at this stage. The New Beginning – where we … [Read more...]
Growing Older – Maybe
“Don’t regret growing older; it’s a privilege denied to many” is my mantra this week. I am trying focus on this blessing but it is hard. You see Wednesday is my birthday – a significant year. A “get the red, white blue card in the mail from the government type of birthday.” A year beyond “will you still love me, will you still need when I’m ____?” song being played kind of celebration. See I can’t even write out the numbers. I don’t feel that old. There is a place inside of me that totally denies my age. I think some cruel trick has been performed – a wizardly magic that catapulted me into the future and into a distant age. I fully believe that my mother made a mistake on my birth certificate, writing down a 5 instead of a 6 or 7 or even 8. My kids tell me that would make me younger than them. What’s wrong with that? My internal clock accurately says I’m in my 30’s, okay perhaps 40’s. I used to say the decade of my 50’s was one of the best ones as I felt at that age I … [Read more...]
Serving A Life Sentence Or Choosing Words to Live By
Do you have a life verse? A Bible verse or quote that resonates in your heart? Words that hold special meaning for you and perhaps guide you in times of decision and difficulty? I have found discovering special key words ground me and offer me light on my path. If I am not quite sure what to do, I reread certain phrases. I would hope once I am gone somehow people who knew me and loved me, would remember me in these ways. Here are words that impact my life: We must keep our eyes on Jesus, who leads us and makes our faith complete Hebrews 12: 2 My favorite Bible verse. I find that when I focus on God, things become clearer. When I allow my eyes to be distracted by sin, the world and my ego, I become lost. I need to remind myself of these life-giving words daily. For 2015, this verse is strong in my daily prayers: One thing I ask from the Lord, This only do I seek: That I may dwell in the house of the Lord All the days of my life. To gaze on the beauty of the Lord And … [Read more...]
The Gift of Hearing
We live in an age besieged with communication devices - smart phones, Ipads, pagers and emails that chirp continuously. Facetime, Skype and voice mail. Twitter, Facebook and I-messages. Some people even still talk in person. LOL It seemed rather incongruous that in a society of supersophisticated communication, we often suffer from a shortage of listeners. Erma Bombeck I listened in church on Sunday. I sit up front since I help with the opening worship and the children’s sermon, so the entire congregation is behind me. I can’t see them when I am in the pew as my back faces them, but I can hear them. And I listened Sunday. I closed my eyes and felt the beat of the music. I heard the preschoolers’ innocent voices recite the Lord’s Prayer. I caught the swish of the hymnal pages being turned behind me. My ears picked up the voices of fellowship, worship and prayer. I listened this Sunday. I thanked God for the amazing gift of hearing. Sometimes, maybe even too … [Read more...]
God’s Foolishness – Lectio Divina
“For God’s foolishness is wiser than human wisdom, and God’s weakness is stronger than human strength. 1 Corinthians 1: 25 Make me your fool, Lord. Then I will know your wisdom. Make me weak, Lord. Then I will know your strength. How senseless of me to even ask these prayers as I am already unwise in so many ways. Even in my most brilliant moments where I falsely believe I am in control, I am clever, I am tough – even then I am out of my league. I need your wisdom, Lord. I desperately rely on your strength. I am nothing without you. The world tells us we can do it all. We are strong. We are rulers of our fate. The evil one whispers we have the power on our own and we are in charge. But I am nothing without you. Come, Lord, show me how to be your fool. A fool for God. A weakling in your shadow. Help me let go of human wisdom and embrace your foolishness. The world may call me a fool for believing the irrational concept that God would … [Read more...]
Begin Again
I should have known better. I’ve been down this path in the past and it didn’t work well for me then, why should it now? Sigh. Will I ever learn? What is wrong with me? These are the types of negative thoughts that haunt me. The inner critic appears quite quickly: When I fail. When I lose my focus. When my good intentions fade and the temptation of too many calories, too much complaining and/or whining, and old habits take over. While on retreat last week I ran across the Benedictine saying from more than 1500 years ago: "Always we begin again." Buddhist wisdom calls it “having a beginner’s mind.” Meaning you are open, willing to keep trying and to listen to teachers. I am studying the Desert Mothers and Fathers this year and they also have reference to this concept: “Abba Poemen said that every single day is a new beginning, meaning again and again we commit our way to our spiritual practices and path.” I love the idea of new beginnings. Perhaps that … [Read more...]
Failing and Learning about the Spiritual Practice of Beholding
Last week I submerged my soul in silence at my annual spiritual retreat. I have learned that in order to hear God I need to get away at least once a year for a few days at a retreat center for solitude, silence and being with him. My time away and my notes in my journal nourish my spirit for many days afterward. I am a doer and settling my soul in silence and stillness isn’t easy for me. It often feels like I peel off layers of soiled clothing as I settle into the quiet. I have to hand over my concerns, my worldly frantic to do’s and my agenda into God’s hands. I attempt to embrace an attitude of open expectancy. During our time of lectio divina at the retreat, the leader slowly read three times the story of Jesus’s transfiguration. I just love Peter – his enthusiasm, his direct honesty and his determined desire to do. Peter sees Jesus along with Moses and Elijah and what does he want to do – build a shelter for them. He is doing instead of embracing this sacred instance that he … [Read more...]